Don’t Hit Me Teacher

July 19, 2010
It is not possible that you grew up without getting spanked or punished ever in your childhood. But in those days, we had ways to laugh it off and may be sometimes we thought we deserved it somehow, so took it lightly.
But now, with the innocence of children getting lost so early in their lives, with exposure of media, the social network bullying, with excessive stress of studies, games, extra activities, and mounting parental expectation, a child is no more the same free spirit. He not just carries the burden of his heavy bag; he also bears on his shoulders the responsibility to be a good student, a good sportsperson, a guitarist, a skating or chess enthusiast. He not just deals with (and some times succumb to the peer pressure), he also bears the brunt of a hassled, irritated and stress laden teacher.



Corporal punishment in educational institutions has been banned by Supreme Court in the year 2000. But how does that matter? Schools are still professing physical and/or mental punishments to students.



         Just to elaborate :
Physical punishment such as hitting with a scale on the palms, or with a pencil stuck between fingers and a scale hit over the hand, or caning or twisting ears or slapping or standing with hands up or a chair position or even worse the arms crossed through legs holding ears, making a child stand in the sun for hours etc.




Mental punishment like getting slapped by the opposite sex, scolding abusing and humiliating, labeling a child for misbehaviour and parading him around the school or making a child stand at the back of the class, or sit on the floor of the class are very severe but still exist. If you went to a public school or your child studies in a public school, then you might think its done in Govt schools. Partly, yes, socioeconomic status determines a lot in this.

Every other day, the newspapers are full of incidents where a child got fractured by teacher’s beatings, or committed suicide either due to insult and embarrassment meted out to him in school. As if Rouvanjit Rowla’s death was not enough, still children are being disciplined by way of physical punishments. It is unfortunate. Being a mother, it breaks my heart each time I read a news like that. It scares me.


While searching on Internet about the article, I came across two more such cases from south of India. Horrifying they were :

While searching on Internet about the article, I came across two more such cases from south of India. Horrifying they were :


      A 6 year old girl was talking in the class. And the next moment, a lungi clad male teacher barges in the class, picks up the girl, takes her to science lab and sexually assaults her, in the presence of a lady teacher, for being indisciplined in the class. Moreover, when she cries out in pain, cloth is stuffed in her mouth and she is threatened not to tell anyone.

     A 16 year old boy commits suicide after he is thrashed in the class by his teacher for missing his school on his birthday.

Now, the question is what do we do as parents? Yes, true, we all are educated, we can fight for our children. But what if, your child gets too scared to talk? Its really important to keep the communication channel open with our kids, always. Also, if the child is scared or nervous about going to school, his fears should not be laughed away.

In fact what I feel is that when we can hit back in self defense as a grown up, why can’t a child hit back, if he feels enough is enough. As it is no body, not even one’s parents have any right to hit a child, then why a teacher? (By the way, draft Prevention of Offences Against Child Bill, if passed, will ban domestic corporal punishment to a child also. I so very welcome this move!)

Who is a teacher or a principal of a staff member to take away a child’s dignity? If a teacher hits a child and thereby violating the child’s Right to Life, then a child also has the right to hit back to save himself for any further harm, and then no disciplinary action should be there against him. Because, it’s the teacher who started it all. Why do we have to believe “jo bade karte hain, woh hamare bhale ke liye hota hai” (whatever elders do is for our betterment). Its much better than another child dying first mentally, emotionally and then physically that he learns to give back to such demonish, cruel and heartless teachers.

Dear reader, what is your say about it? To some, it would be revolting, hitting one’s teacher….. whatever you think, please let me know….


A Restless Mind with
A Sensitive Heart

"You Killed Me - Maali"

July 15, 2010
Imagine the stature of a Palm tree - royal and grand as it looks, standing seven feet tall on a prominent Delhi Road, named after another grand personality - Bhishma Pitamah.

How proudly it stands, at least that is what we thought, waving its beautiful branches.  But little did we know, it had bellied a secret, it lived with a pain, a pain that was choking him.  It stood there with humility, but may be it cried in heart, for underneath the ground which held it was hidden his murderer.

The palm trees planted on the road side were planted by the MCD gardeners with the plastic wrapped on the roots as they have got it from the nursery!  How shocking is that.  How more insensitive can we be?  Its like putting a helpless little baby in his crib with a plastic bag loosely wrapped on his face.

Slowly and painfully, the palm trees died - dried up.  The political blame game has begun now.

Surprisingly, no one feels the need to punish the guys who planted a tree with plastic wrapped on  its roots, rather they are more interested in knowing,why  trees which had some life left in it (the trunk was green yet)  were uprooted (only to be revived somewhere else) because that is against the law of our land.

Huff! Law of the Land!



A Restless Mind With
A Sensitive Heart

What Does Your Profile Picture Say?

Blogosphere is an amazing world, with each blog speaking its own mind, having its own personality.  Your profile picture and your profile name is the window to the reader to your little world.  Do you give enough thought before choosing a picture ? Do you know it can have tremendous effect on the reader's decision or otherwise to check out your blog or not?

Various people choose many types of pics - self, other's,  cartoons, animals, things, slogan etc.

On the basis of my observations of profile pictures in blogs or social networking sites, I have tried to bring about a few things about what does a particular profile picture signify about the blogger.


CELEBRITY STUFF :  Either you love the celebrity too much (ideally you should find a better way to express it!). But seriously speaking, it shows non seriousness towards blog and also lack of confidence in one's own looks or personality.


LOVE- FLORA AND FAUNA :  Someone using an animal, bird or flower etc can mean two things, one that the person draws a parallel with the prominent, well known characteristics of the living being.  Like a lion, for being royal and powerful, a penguin for its innocent and sweet looks, a sparrow for its chirpiness  or its ability to fly freely and a flower for its beauty.


NATURE AND OBJECTS : Same goes for things of natural beauty, like sky, clouds, river, fire.  Here, for example,boundless sky is an expression of one's broad mindset etc. Objects like earthen lamp or light signifies hope in the time of despair or being a self made person.

PICTURES OF SELF/HUMAN FACE.  This is one sphere which needs maximum elaboration and its quite interesting.

A passport kind of a pic shows someone very serious, especially serious about one's image and one's blog and wants a proper representation of his identity on his blog.

A close up of the face of the blogger with light, smiling and pleasant expression shows the person is social, with straight forward approach towards the blog and has nothing to hide about him/herself.

A Side cut of a face, musing, thinking, shows the person either wants to partly hide his identity and secondly wants to highlight the thinking, ponderous side of his personality.  If thoughtfully chosen by the blogger, then such characteristics like deep observations and  thoughts would be visible in his/her blog too. (This one is my personal favourite!)

PICTURES WITH FACE HIDDEN (PARTIALLY)

YOU DON'T KNOW ME :Hiding the face completely means the person does not want to reveal her identity at all.  But relates to her blog hence puts her touch to the pic by darkening her pic, avoiding the exposure of face  but pics of  body parts like hands, feet may used.  It also adds an element of mystery and the pic remain very individualistic.

THE BEAUTIFUL ME : Hiding the face partially and highlighting a beautiful feature of the face, say only eyes, or the flush of a cheek, hair, only ear with earrings etc is another interesting thing that I have noticed.  It signifies that although the person does not want to be recognised or revealed but wants to draw attention to that feature, which surely he/she rates as very good.

EYES :  This is most commonly seen, one eye in close up.  (That makes me laugh always, it looks like retina scan to me!)  Its weird and that is what the blogger wants to show

NUDITY : Display of obscene gestures, nudity or showing off one's intimate body parts, even partially, is all attention seeking behaviour or else it can mean that the person is giving a window the the content of the blog.  ( can see the glee in your eyes, u guys!!)

MESSAGE FREAKS :  Some people like putting message/thought on things like a T-shirt as profile pic.  Again shows need for anonymity and telling the reader his/her attitude about a thing.  Moreover its quite imaginative  also.

GIRL IN THE CLOAK :  sometimes, in order to avoid the attention of non-serious male readers/bloggers (who are mouse-clicking happy to see a pretty face!),  girls choose profile pics which are non-descript.

ATTITUDE - HAVE IT FLAUNT IT - some profile pics show certain body language showing highhandedness, arrogance, superiority or "couldn't care less" attitude, say a pic of lower limbs of a man sitting with feet up on a working table.  Its OK if you have attitude, but then that should be the shade of your blog too.
The only point I want to make here is that its alright to have a profile picture whatsoever you choose, after all you are the best judge and its your blog, but having a profile picture, and for that matter a profile name too, congruent to your blog, the flavour, the feel of your blog is important. After all,it can affect your blog traffic, when the pic is too bland or uninteresting or repulsive.

Lastly, in no way I am saying I am an expert on this, everything above is purely my observation and my perception.

Have fun!


A Restless Mind With
A Sensitive Heart!

The Confessions Of A Hydrophobic

July 13, 2010
There I was standing in front of a pool.... completely struck by fear of water.  At that moment that pool of water (in which my friends had alrady jumped in) looked like my destiny to me.  As if telling me "jump in girl or I am gonna make your foot slip and  then you will know what I am capable of "

I was cursing myself to have come to this water park.  My friends were shouting at me, I knew I was playing a spoil sport... or may No .... may be because of me they were having a whale of a laughter.

Very nervously, I stepped into the pool and stood there holding the side wall.  This was the first time I had entered a water body so deep.... i mean so deep for me.... actually it was hardly 4 feet (!!)

Soon,  I decided to vanish from there, and go to a kids' pool. Yes, actually I did it ! Now, after achieving some confidence after sliding on "water slide" for small kids for 5-6 times, I was feeling better.  But, oops, my friends had found me ! I was embarressed but I smiled to show I was better now.

And then, came a life time experience.  I was to slide in that long and spiral slide which is covered from top and you end up landing in the pool of water.  After much encouragement and borrowing a swimsuit from my friend (God bless her!) ( I could never think of buying one... you know it now) I held my breath and adjusted myself on the top of the slide with water gushing over my head. I lied down with my arms crossed and zzzzzzzoooooooooooo I was in the tunnel with water dictating the terms.... I must say I was scared...  what if water stops flowing? what if I get stuck here in the narrow small spiral tunnel ???

But surprisingly, nothing bad happened and I was about to land in the pool. But wait, I had not thought about this ! I don't know how to swim or even stand in water ! Stupidly enough, I had not realised all this. I was dumped in water with force, with my face down, my body almost curled up like a ball, my eyes and mouth closed and breath held. I was under the water.  For the first time I heard the water gurgle.  That deep sound of water, as if saying  " follow my orders, you have stepped in my empire now".  You have to go underwater to understand that deep sound which fills up your ears and your brain too ( if u have one).

No, it was no joke, I just could not balance myself.  Somehow I managed to come to the surface of water and waved to the man standing just there, he looked at me ignorantly.  Phew... If I was out of the pool, this man would have been all eyes for me and now he just chooses to ignore me, I was angry.  But, NO, I had no time to be angry, I was drowning. Two more times, I was under the water, only to be pushed up to the surface and getting ignored by this and many more people there.  And lastly, I was noticed by the guard, he pulled me up, as if I was drunk and could not balance myself! I shouted at him, gasping for breath, coughing badly and my head banging with pain.

I was helped by my friend who was surprised how could I manage to drown in 4 feet of water?!  I knew I stood like a sore thumb there. Felt really stupid.  But I decided, I am going to tame water..... I am going to change my destiny...... I am going to learn swimming...... and I am going to write about it in this very blog !  Wish me luck!

I got a new attire!

July 10, 2010


After trying many dresses ( read templates ) at many stores ( websites) finally, I got my new attire, my new blogger template. Inititally, I was hesitant and very unsure about how to change it.  Being not at all a techie person, it was quite scary for me do it.  What if I lose out on some posts or comments ( I just love them!)?!

Finally after checking the method to change, after creating a backup of present template, I began to try new dresses.  I almost finalized on a girly template with a smart girl in white halter neck dress, stood holding a nail paint in hand! But later I felt, it was awful!

Another one, which I was close to choose was a lovely green template, with a girl swirling happily( again a girl!), but the problem was that the font and colour of comments of my dear readers was very dull and light, even I could not read them..... and so I changed that one too.

Today again, went on and on and finally, here I am, with the new template. I am loving it. Its serene and sweet too. If u have a minute, pl give your comments !

Take care,


A restless mind with
a sensitive heart!

Defending Raavana

July 7, 2010

Almost an year back, I wrote about Raavana, when there was absolutely no furore in the media about seeing Raavan's point of view.  It was Dussehra and my heart ached to see the plight of three effigies of demons, who were burnt merciless by a jubilant crowd.  Then I wrote "Raavana Is In My Soul" in my blog.

Today, after the Mani Ratnam movie 'Raavan' is the talk of the town, suddenly the guy is in limelight!  Today, articles are being written and so many books have surfaced which were written about him.

It is quite interesting to know that the grandfather of Raavan wanted a child who had the intellect of a Brahmin and the might of an 'asura' (demon), so he married off his son "Vishrava" to a demon woman, and there began the sprouting of two extreme characters in one human being (or asura?).  Raavan, the young boy was taught 'Vedas' on one hand and on the other hand was taught to hone his destructive skills.

Rest what happened is known to all.

Whenever I read about him that he was a scholar, worshipper, scientist, musician, a wise and kind leader, it kind of... makes me feel very bad about him, the way we had been seeing him getting burned each year right from our childhood, does not really justify our hatred towards the demon king.

Let me tell you here that among Mahayan Buddhists, Raavan is seen as a benign  and wise king who attained enlightened through teachings of the Buddha !!

OK, alright, yes he abducted another man's wife but did not force himself.  He fought a fair war for what he thought was right in his eyes.  After all women were used for political reasons like commodities (defeated kings offering their daughters for marriage to the winner etc).  Also, I fail to understand why Laxman is in no one's bad books for slashing the nose of a (demon) young girl, who showed interest in him ?!!  When women could be won, or lost , or earned, or whatever then why, in that era, such hue and cry for stealing a woman ?  From that point of view, what should be the punishment for raping one's own daughter ? Should THEIR effigies not burnt then?  Raavan, still, had the courage to fight, actually fight a war for that woman (how flattering is that now !!!)

Anyways, many won't agree with what I feel.  

You know why I am defending Raavan ? Because there is a Raavan in all of us.... each one of us..... its power, its money, its authority which has the capability to unleash that Raavan in us.  I am not saying we should give in to it. But, we should be able to see the man and his evil separately.  Treat the man and his evil separately.  Have consideration for the good deeds he did and the good qualities he possessed and dislike that one socially and morally bad.

I think we should rethink about our stand on Raavana.  Meanwhile, I will say again "Raavana is in my soul"!



RESTLESS

Viveka Babajee - Women, Showbiz & Suicides

July 6, 2010

Suicides are not so uncommon in the history of civilisation.  But when, the so called successful people commit suicide, it makes us sit up, watch TV screens with wide eyes and wonder what was missing in their recipe of success that they collapsed?


The suicide of model Viveka Babajee (well, I never heard her name. With all the due regards to the departed soul, she got more bytes in death than life) has once again aroused my curiosity about the desperation to embrace death by a very beautiful and successful woman.


Its quite painful that women in showbiz or say, profession more to do with their bodies - models, actresses, air-hostesses, are more prone to depression and sometimes it drives them to commit suicide.


This weekend, I read some articles on this and have felt and found a few facts and a few questions


FACTS:

  • In stressful professions, women have to make clear choices - family or career.

  • Once you have decided on your career, you may not be that well supported by family, more so because you had been so blunt (read clear headed ) about it.

  • Stressful career needs you to perform and prove your worth.

  • And the struggle goes on, esp in careers like modelling.

  • Men, boys, relationships, whatever you call it, come handy to you ( how genuine, you don't know)

  • You succeed, you have money, fame and the body talent to earn more money.
Now these things kept my mind on..... read on

After having been reasonable successful, a beautiful model commits suicide, due to failed relationship(s). Why?

  • Is it difficult for a man to handle a woman who is successful?

  • Is it the physical, mental and sexual exploitation (often its their own choice) finally takes the toll, on their conscious and the one's they share their lives with?

  • Is it that  "an all body" profession, somewhere makes a "thinking person" feel shallow.  She feels misfit for the profession, which wants her to smile and glow and swirl in action, all..... alll the time?  Actually.....God!.... if we were to live up to our image - huge, magnanimous, always beautiful and sunny - will we not crumble as a person behind the concealor & blusher & mascara?!!

  • OR, finally, the reason why women crumble in their successful careers is lack of true love? 

By the way, when I was discussing it with a typical Indian man, I got a blunt answer  "aisi ladkiyon ke sath kaun pyaar aur shadi karega?" ( Who will love or marry such women?!)




I feel sad and hopeless.....



A Restless Mind with
A Sensitive Heart.



Source : Times Crest

Check Maid !

July 3, 2010

"Maine kuch nahin kiya” (I have done nothing wrong) she said.

She was standing in front of me gesticulating with her hands, defending herself that she has done no wrong. She's my maid servant - must be around 24 years of age, short, a little fat - keeping in view the amount of work she does whole day; very dark, so dark that as she  stood against daylight, I could only see the white of her eyes and her long, inorderly teeth (reminds me of the little boy Darsheel Safari, of 'Taare Zameen Par'). Her hair tied up in a  plait, she was looking at me with a little fear in her eyes.  

"Maine kuch nahin kiya", her words were drilling my mind. Like a carpenter drills a wooden plank, and the specks of wood scatter around the person's face. The same way I stood there looking at some shunya far away with some deep thoughts scattering all over me.

Actually, what had happened that my whole family was out some where for some 3-4 hours, with the maid alone at home to finish off the chores.  We had just reached home, and found that the work was not yet done and she was sitting on the floor of the balcony. I just walked up to her to find out why she did not finish off the work, to which she replied that she vomited and therefore, is feeling very weak.

At that moment i realised, she was actually looking very drained out and feeble. On asking her why she vomited ( I thought, may be stomach upset or something like that ), she immediately said " Maine kuch nahin kiya". She was obviously defensive.

She did not want to be doubted about her moral character knowing very well in her mind that she was all alone for hours, was of marriageable age, knows young boys who work in neighborhood, she thought I would doubt her. But I was lost in something else.

Suddenly I felt that a girl, who is mature enough to be a mother now, and is not married, not because of her choice, but because there is no one to bother about her. Her father is a drunkard and mother too ill to work or take care of the family, and she is the eldest among her siblings, so she came to Delhi to work and sends money home, the same story for the poor girls who come to work here.

But the point is, when did I become her moral inspector? Why she has to tell me a thing like that? Does she not have a right to the very basic pleasures of life which a normal human being longs to experience? She is forced to remain single, I realized it at that moment.

I got reminded of that dialogue of a hindi movie, in which Tabu plays the role of a housewife, whose husband while touring for his job stays away for months and happily enjoyes the company of other women. But when he finds that his wife (tabu) is in love with her music teacher, a young man who frequents her place, the husband gets furious. And then, at that moment, the young wife questions her husband saying "Jo aag tumhe jalati hai, woh kya mujhe kam jalati hai?" (Does the fire of passion only affect men?). (I am not able to recall the name of movie.)

I don't know what more to say in this. All I can say is,  it is an unequal world, sumptuous, luxurious buffet for some and an empty bowl for some one else across the globe.

Yet, my question remains unanswered, how can one person become the moral police of another?  


RESTLESS



Breaking the gender stereotypes!!

July 2, 2010
IF YOU ARE MAN AND READING THIS :-

Then, you know that sometimes you do and you love to do and you are inclined to do things which are not considered manly like say arranging flowers for your home, wearing pink or peach coloured shirt and preeening yourself in the mirror etc!

IF YOU ARE A WOMAN AND READING THIS :-

Then, you would know in your heart that some things in you which is so unwomanly ( as a conceived notion of our society) like to love drive fast and rash sometimes and you don't mind uttering a swear word on the road, when nobody known to you is watching or may be you love horses and cricket matches and all.


I would like to hear all those things which you like to do irrespective of the gender specific role assigned to you by your respective set of people ie. society.  After having said that, these are my the manly things about me ! phew quite a lot.....


Oh yes, first, I love to tell this to my colleagues and friends "I am a man when I am working and driving!!” And they look at me in amusement, as I am very feminine and delicate in looks ( nothing like self admiration!)


So here goes my list : -


1. I love to drive really fast.

2. I don’t like chocolates

3. I never read mill and boons

4. I work like a man, without using my feminity

5. I get excited seeing new gadgets phones, ipod, psp etc ( learning to play games on play station)

6. I am always curious to understand technology

7. I  hate saas bahu serials, rather watch nat geo and discovery!

8. I can’t stand girly talk, bitching and small talk

9. I am pretty rational, clear headed and have risk taking behaviour!!

10. I just  haaaaaaaate gold jewellery !!



Yes, but love to watch romantic-comedy movies on HBO, love flowers and surprises, and clothes and silver ear rings and kajal and high heels and my hair!

So do write what's your story!!!!


What's Your Mental Age?!

July 1, 2010
You must have heard "maturity has nothing to do with age".  I have also heard it and always trembled in my heart with fear because I knew I was not becoming mature mentally, i mean more practical or balanced or wise , or worldly wise or things like that. Unlike my younger sister, who is always politcally correct, diplomatic and oh so polite in whatever she says (even in anger) I just knew I stand no where.  I was always playful, giggling, rebellious and adamant and on top of all argued with my parents while growing up, which of course gave me bad results in future.  I was always worrying when will I become mature?  When will I sound and be wise and serious looking and pakki in duniyadari... phew... all this, kind of scared me all these years, say after teenage said bye bye.

But recently, I read an interview of  Aamir Khan ( one of my favourites!) in which through an incident he told that his mental age was much less than his real age.  The incident was rather very funny, where he addressed another 39 year old woman as "Aunty"!!!! And of course, he was reminded by his friend about his rather improper salutation ! To which he might have apologized to the lady but replied to his friend that mentally he still feels 21!!

Oh God, what a relief !! Since that day onwards I started taking pride in the fact that I still feel myself as if I am in class XIth ( obviously not XIIth !!)  I was relaxed that at 35, I am fine feeling like a teenager.  I still cannot tolerate a college girl calling me Aunty !!  Well, I don't even look like one !

Have you ever thought about it ? What's yor mental age ?  Have you also not tried to hide that emotional teenager or a playful giggly girl, or a mischievious little brat behind the covers of your current physical age?

I would love to hear you speak, dil se!  Do write a comment and tell me What's Your Mental Age?!
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