How Do You Welcome The New Year?

December 31, 2010
I, along with all of you, have reached the last day of the year 2010.  At each year end, I'm reminded that just after another month, I will be celebrating my birthday.  My birthday still thrills me, as it used to when I was little girl.  I still smile ear to ear thinking about the day and how I would be celebrating it and what the people close to me would be gifting me. I still smile and my eyes still shine thinking about it!  Although, now I'm thinking of using an under eye cream to scare away those would-be wrinkles (did I say would be?!!)

Jokes apart, but, really this year is coming to an end. I'm trying to sum it up.  Remembering what I was doing the last year at this time. What all happened this year in personal and professional life.  I see some clear cut phases, devoid of the flow of time, the measurement of time.  There were phases of joys and sadness, like a cycle which went on.  Probably, now I'm used to it. Probably, now, at 35 I've learnt to see every problem as a situation. and every situation as an opportunity to learn and to grow.

I always wanted to say this, and today I'm saying it, but ironically,  to the people who don't know me as a person.  I'm thankful to all the difficult situations I've faced, because it is that testing and trying times, it's that difficulties of life and people related to my life which made me stronger, which made me sensitive and humane. (I say stronger and I say sensitive, in the same breath.  Yes, you can be strong along with being sensitive, only if you know how to manage your sensitivities, which can be quite a pain!!)

I thank all of them who hurt me.  If not for you, I would never have been able to question the meaning of life and would never have thought about searching for it.... my search is still on..... but am glad, that hardships pushed me to this level.... the level of being eternally RESTLESS.

Meanwhile, everybody is talking about taking a resolution for the new year.  I ask myself, do I have a resolution for the new year? Nah! , comes the reply.  Why wait for the close of an year to decide something about yourself.  Each day, each new day, we human beings are capable of making amends in ourselves, capable of learning and capable of unlearning.  So, I don't think, I need to take any resolve today. 

The only thing I can do is to reaffirm to myself that it's fine being myself and that my thoughts decide what I am, (ie., we are what we think).  So, I reaffirm to myself that I keep my thoughts pure and that I never intend to hurt or harm anyone.....

Having said that, let me tell you dear reader, a majority of which are the youngsters that Restless is not just about musing and pondering over things, Restless has got restless feet too!! I will be partying all night with close family friends and would be having a blast at the dance floor too!! But, that is just a part of the celebration, not THE celebration for me.  If I had not expressed myself and my heart felt thoughts at this juncture and to this wide array of reader and blogger pals, I would have felt "frivolous", would have felt incomplete..... So, I sign off now.... you too get ready for the celebration!

Have a beautiful and blissful times ahead....
Have a Happy New Year 2011

With love


I'm Back!

December 28, 2010
It was quite a long break, I guess.  Suddenly, I am fumbling for words.  Not that I have nothing to say, but suddenly I don't know where to begin with.  My blog is really my sweet heart!

On the wings of the silver bird, I'm coming home to you!

When I was away from it, I was always thinking about it (read thinking about what to write in my next posts!).  You just won't believe it, that while I was studying for my exams, reading the chapters of Sociology (yeah, I want to be a student all my life), I was relating things to blogging, all the time! 

In one of chapters of Sociology, the structure and functionality of society is explained and understood through various ways, means and types of communication patterns people have set with each other.  It classified communication as subjective, objective, manipulative etc (not the exact terms, I am using) but believe me, while reading all that I was thinking about you - ie., all my co-bloggers and their blogs!! 

How, many of us write, sharing experiences and thoughts (Jack, you know that!) and some write very objectively. Of course, there would be many who write as if giving an impression of something, as if highlighting some aspect of their personality which would be liked by all.  (No, dear, am not pin-pointing on anyone here!) But surely, I found some connection of Sociology with Blogging.  And yes, why not, because blogging is again communication, with the whole world - known and unknown people around us, who write back to us through comments, who connect with us by empathizing with us, who laugh at our jokes, who share stories of their lives.  When we thought, we were alone feeling bad about things around us, we just had to write something, and we had so many people around us to tell - "they felt the same".  And we were not lonely anymore.

We agree and nod when there are things which affect all of us, as a society.  We disagree and argue, sometimes, bitterly to prove our points.  At times, we get in touch with a friend, by dropping into his or her blog, only to write some sweet nothings.  We know it! We do it at times!

Because ultimately, blogosphere is a social circle, it's a social network (suddenly these two words have a different meaning to us, first after the rampant use by all and sundry of Facebook, twitter etc and secondly because of the movie of the same name).  But, what I meant, when I said Blogosphere is a social network, is that it's a society again, it's a bonsai society.  You will disagree, may be.  True, that more and more people are getting connected through Internet now, even Govt organisations are waking up to it, and this circle is increasing day by day.  But, let's not forget that this is just the urban story.  Education is yet to reach the corners of our country.  So, I would say, it's a Bonsai Society, a little sample of real society.

Don't you see those patterns of blogging? Following, reciprocating comments, building a blog, an image of the blog and ,of course, writing and communicating how YOU would like people to see you.  We wear masks here too.  Well, many a times, we have to and many a times, we can avoid it and be real.  This reminds of another term used in the course book "Impression Management", yes, it was again a theory understanding the social behaviour, yes, it does cross paths with psychology, may be that's why it interested me so much. 

So, now you know, my blog and my co-bloggers were never out of my mind all this time!  I was thinking about it all the time!

But, let me say this naughty thing to you, that the way you feel when you meet your sweetheart after a long time, I was feeling the same for my blog, I was just, so....hmmm.... shy to speak! (Read, so blank to write a post!)  that I kept thinking what to write for last 3-4 days, when I got free from the work, for which I took  the blogging break.

Hey, does that happen with you too?! When you gave blogging a break for sometime, did you feel how I was feeling last few days, thinking what to write??

Or else,

You may read the question like this too, that, "do you also feel so shy and speechless meeting your sweetheart after a long time?"!!! ( am just kidding!)

Do write to me....

And yes, I missed you all so much... will be visiting my blogger pals blogs soon...

Take care


PS: By the way, I'll be writing about why am I RESTLESS, in my next post!

Blogging and my life!

December 10, 2010
Hello dear Blogger Pals and readers!

My life is really hectic these days due to many factors altogether. Since,  I believe in giving my best to whatever I do, I'd be taking a little break for a week or so from blogging.  

Bloom like a flower!
Although, I miss my blog like the way you miss your sweetheart!! I keep checking comments once or twice a day and try to reply to them too ( it's like checking your mobile for his/her sms!!).  My blog is a great place for me to live in it because you all are there! Be there, dear readers and fellow bloggers :)

 I am also not able to read my fellow bloggers blog posts due to my preoccupations and I am missing reading and commenting on their posts!  But will definitely be back in a few days!

Till then, take care and have a great time!

Delhi is getting really really cold now, my blogger pals from Delhi and other Northern States of India, do take care!

with love,


Turning Towards Life Through Death

December 7, 2010
I wrote this article some time back, when the Blue Line Bus Service was very frequent on the Delhi roads, which due to negligent driving had caused many a deaths and hence is being phased out compleltely from Delhi roads.  Dear reader, sharing this experience with you, which had a deep impact on me.

It was a usual morning for me. I grabbed my sandwich to nibble on the way to work, as I drove my car.  There was usual traffic on Delhi roads. I drove out of my colony to merge with the endless traffic on the main road. I began to drive in the middle lane.  I adjusted my rear view mirror and with a fleeting movement of my eye, I observed a biker with a black windcheater riding just behind me, and a Blue Line Bus behind him. (Am I driving in the bus lane or the bus is in my lane, I thought?!)  Life as usual … I picked up my sandwich to bite………and screeeeeech…….I heard a loud and thunderous sound of a bus braking suddenly.  I tilted slightly to see what happened behind me.  That bus had stopped abruptly and the biker was nowhere to see, in just two seconds time.  I was shocked; the bus had run over the biker. 

Suddenly, there was silence on the road, a road echoing with the loud horns, a few seconds back sounded deserted now. I sat there still with my eyes glued on the rear view mirror of my car, my mind showing me horrifying imaginations of death scenes. 

And, then, a miracle happened, the man with his helmet on, crawled out from the underneath of the bus.  He looked shaken but the young man soon regained his composure and moved to his right, slapped the auto driver who had pushed him in the road and moved away.

I sat there paralyzed in the middle of the road with tears flowing out of my eyes.  I had seen the terrorizing face of death so close and so sudden.

(Only after all the vehicles on the road started honking at me, did I realize that I was in tears, and blocking the way of the traffic)

Suddenly, every clutter of life sounded trivial to me, every friction, every issue in my relationships seemed petty to me, every grudge, every sulk, every grievance I had, seemed so small, so inconsequential to me.

The uncertainty of life had humbled me suddenly.  Gratitude, humility, forgiveness all quickly flowed like sparkling clear water through the dry and rough soil of my heart.

It was a life changing moment for me.  I had turned towards life through death.  I learnt to admire and cherish each moment, each day.  No, it was not the fear of death – lurking around me, and for that matter us, in different avatars, but the awareness of my being. The awareness that I am a capable human being at this point of time, capable enough to live and not just vegetate, capable enough to be happy that I decided that I will live completely, fully in each moment to come, each moment of my life.

I had turned towards life through death.


PS: The post got published in Kadzilla's Lounge and my organisations magazine too.
PPS: pic coutesy :

Munni Badnam-Sheela ki Jawani Chadhi Parwan

December 3, 2010
Warning : Adults Stuff, Kids stay away please

Eeeeks! I was feeling so yucky typing those words there.  Don't they sound like some C-grade movie title?  Not that I have ever seen such a movie or would like to see one, but who has not read those names on jarring posters in small towns and who has not heard about them?  I thought it made people make dirty faces listening to these crass songs.  But I was wrong.  "Sheela ki jawani" is a hit with the discotheques in Delhi!!  FM radio stations are asking Delhites what do they prefer Badnam Munni or Jawan Sheela!! Oh I am disgusted with all this.

Let me tell the readers, who do not know what I am talking about.  Bollywood is abuzz with this item dance number featuring Katrina Kaif with the name 'sheela is jawani'.  And in the recent past, it was another actress(?) Malaika Arora Khan who danced with pride on 'Munni badnaam hui, darling tere liye'.

I was not really perturbed when Malaika danced to Munni Badnam Hui - it was expected from her.  With only the item numbers in her kitty, she would have grabbed this opportunity like a hungry cat to gyrate with those uncouth looking men flirting around with his brother in law in real life, Salman Khan.  It was just expected of her.  Moreover, the setting of the place was rural and although I have never really lived in a village, but it seems nautanki (an Indian art form of drama) is still alive and nach- gaana (dance and songs)still is the source of entertainment.  So, it was digestible for me.

Now comes, this song - Sheela ki jawani, (I can't believe I am writing about all this crap). Although, I have kept myself away from such masala movies, serving a stupid old story with a tadka of jhatka and matka and the sizzler of the one man army our heroes become, but hufffff, I have to write about this one.  Katrina Kaif really did not require to do this item number, but now when she has done it, let me blurt out what I have say about this song and the dance and the costumes (were there any?!)

Here enters our (i mean, you guys') heartthrob, strategically covered in a pink satin sheet (ah, the ultimate in fantasy!) and holding it just the right way, hiding some showing some, with those guys declaring that now she is the fountain of youth - declaring that now she has become 'jawan' (young) now.  Isn't that disgusting when some one sings or even talks a thing like that?? After this Sheela gets into various avatars - take your pick boys.  Once she is in the belle dancer's costume and the next time she forgets her trousers but knows how to don that hat, and what is the role of an untied tie over there? some clue? yeah, to play some *** game girl!

I am really upset with this.  No, not because one of the top actress wants to degrade herself like this but because this song, like any other bollywood song takes the place in all the music channels, entertainment channels on TV and radio.  The song with those crass lyrics are being doled out to all and sundry.

Does someone even for a moment think about the teenagers? Teenaged boys and girls who still happen to live with their families in our country.  A sheela on the TV screen goes galloping, vibrating her body from top to bottom, screaming out loud that this delectable item is beyond your reach you boy, and we watch it as a family.  The father seems to enjoy a bit, but is visibly conscious.  The mother is shocked and still,  looking at the visuals, the son smirks at his mom, smiles a little naughtily, the daughter is embarrassed. Finally the mother snatches the remote and changes the channel.  Why are we being served such stuff on family channels and family time ie 8pm to 10 pm??

Does it not affect anybody, right from the makers of the movie, writers of the song, the actors, the people who are putting such stuff on prime time? Just nobody bothers about our children??

I am not saying Censor Board of India should be more vigilant or strict.  It must be the choice of an ADULT to decide what he or she wants to watch, or listen or read.  And it's absolutely alright to have access to material which is erotic in nature but does enrich your knowledge about the topic.  This is the land of Kamasutra.  We should not be shy about knowing the facts and the art of something which is the basic instinct of man.  It's human to be curious, even sexually.  And boys, here I am not talking about ppornography, for that in my opinion is just a way of misleading people and creating a false image about sex. I will write about it separately in a post.

Crimes against women are rampant.  Delhi is being called the crime capital.  Cases of rape, molestation are getting piled up.  It took 300 officers and men of police force to nab the 3-4 rapists, who gangraped a call centre executive at Daula Kuan area of New Delhi.  Will they get any punishment, we do not know??

What we know is that media has a role to play.  What is know is that the poor ratio of male and female population is showing it colours, it had been showing, but now we seem to realise it and accept it.  If the number of females would go less, obviously the males who are getting nobody to have an intimate relationship with, would get frustrated.  There are bound to be more crimes towards women, sexual crimes, I mean.  If you see, many a times, it is the men of adjoining states, of small towns and villages who are getting into such crimes.  The boys and men of the city are also no less. Lack of employment opportunities, and a huge population again makes things worse for them.

Are our movies justified in tempting the rickshaw pullers, street vendors kind of people (with  no disrespect to any profession) by playing such songs and dance.  Yes, I name them here because the class of society they are addressing is them only.  (Ever heard a city girl with the name 'Sheela'??  For God's sake - my great grandmother's name is Sheela!!)  There had been many vulgar songs before this, but a lead actress, who first made a place in the industry and the people's heart with her cute, innocent ways, has even done such a crass, dirty and third class song is what makes me so angry.  Money buys everything huh?!

It was madhuri dixit, who did 'choli ke peeche kya hai?' But if you see the answer negates all your dirty thoughts, when she says 'choli mein dil hai mera'. (Although it was too a very suggestive song at that time, but my kids had not grown up for me to feel so angry, I guess).  Coming back to sheela song, if you have heard the song properly, it suggests... well..... self gratification.  Wow, the great lyricists that we have, why should boys have all the fun ha? why 'apna haath jaganath' for men ha? why not pull women into it ha? It's shameful.  It's shocking how the standards of decency are going down in the art of our times.  Art is a reflection of our society.  Is our society... our youngsters too getting this crass?? I ask this to the youngsters who read this post. 

As an art form, I am not against nudity in paintings or sculpture.  As long as the beauty of human body can be portrayed in an aesthetic manner, it is beautiful.  It's the celebration of life and beauty.  But as soon as the posture changes, it becomes animalistic, raw and in bad taste.

I sincerely wish, somebody out there reads my post and understands how movies and TV are misleading our youth, titillating their senses, teasing them, making them animals.  At least leave the prime time of TV, spare our children from this unnecessary exposure to vulgarity.  Let them grow up and have their share of fun later, not in their early teens at least.

What do you feel about it as a youngster, as a teenager, as a mother or a father? How do you see the degradation of the quality of songs? Especially the elderly must be really feeling bad, and missing those golden songs.  Do let me know what you think about it.

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