Teri Amrita - A Tale of Unrequited Love

Divya Dutta reading letters as Amrita

बड़े नामुराद होते हैं वो शख्स 

जिनकी मुहब्बत को चाहत का किनारा न मिला;  

जैसे दफनाया गया हो 

कोई लावारिस स,  बेशिनाख्त 

और  मज़ार तक तो अपनों का सहारा न मिला 

(Roughly, An individual whose love remains unrequited is as unlucky as a person whose dead body is buried as an unidentified person, even when he is surrounded by people who know him)

I could never imagine that the now extinct form of communication - letter writing - could actually be presented as an art form, till I got the opportunity to be audience of the dramatized letter reading of  "Teri Amrita" at The Shri Ram Centre for Art and Culture at New Delhi the last weekend. 

Originally "Love Letters" written by AG Gurney, which understandably brought out the 'Tumhari Amrita" by Javed Siddiqui  enacted by Shabana Azmi and Farooq Shiekh and now adapted in Punjabi by Amrik Gill and presented by (and directed by) Om Puri and Divya Dutta as "Teri Amrita" ( Amrita pronounced as Amarta!)

The letters, read by the two actors,  unfold the tale of two lovers covering a period of forty years across the spread of continents and barriers of man made boundaries. The readings unveiled the story of two souls too entwined to let go of each other and yet separated physically from each other, I would say due to their choices.  Yet the fabric of their love is woven by the innumerable letters they exchange narrating the meanders of their lives. 

The roles played passionately by Om Puri as Zulfi and Divya Dutta as Amrita brings alive the pain of being in love and yet remaining separated all their lives.  But the reason for staying away is the choice and not destiny really.  Zulfi is a conservative guy, folllows whatever his parents say and rises high in his career path of education and bureaucratic position and then a Minister.  Amrita is a free soul, a rebel and lives her life through the choicesof her heart.  She is lucky for that matter to be recognized as amongst the finest painters of the country and holds exhibitions the world over.

Although, this contrast of portrayal of her character as a free spirit and her extraordinary professional success surprised me a bit.  A free wandering soul has expression but generally needs a mentor and guide to move her up the ladder of professional success.  Sometimes being a pure artist devoid of the keenness to be a winner can be self destructing - well that is what she does at the end... self destruction.

She lives and dies for love.  She commits suicide for the welfare of her love Zulfi, who gave her nothing but pain, loneliness and more pain as he moved ahead relentlessly on his path of professional, social and personal success in society, holding the position of a Minister, marrying a girl for the benefit of his career and rearing a family as any other married man.  He shares all this with Amrita through his letters, even when he is aware of his love for her, even when she asks him to marry her.  He chooses career and position over love.

The question that struck me as I got up from my seat to give a standing ovation and applause to the heart wrenching performance of the two actors, was that is it worthwhile to love and not to be loved back ever by that person?  Is one sided love actually love, or is it an obsession of the thing which has been denied to us?  Is the expectation to be loved back in a relationship too much?  Or is it not love where you expect the other person to love you back?

I was reading some thought about love by Osho.  It said something like if you are looking for love in return of love, then you really are wasting your time, as it is not love.  But how long can you keep on loving a person without reciprocation?  And if you do, is that natural or its your dependence to be in love and pain which making you stick to your object of desire? I really don't know. What do you think dear reader?

RESTLESS

PS: I thank my friends and blogger pals to prod me to write something in the blog, after a long time! Another thanks to the friend who arranged the pass for this play, as it was really difficult to get it.

Gone With The Wind

I was fortunate yesterday to grab some time for myself, and managed to watch the movie "Gone With the Wind".

Gone With The Wind is an American historical epic movie based on a novel of Margaret Mitchell's novel of the same name.  The film received 10 Academy Awards.

The movie was long- 3 hrs 44 minutes.  If I knew it initially, i would have been a little discouraged to watch it seeing what little time we women have at home for ourselves.  But, it was good that I didn't know! So I had to see it till the end and I slept late watching it.

The movie was great, needless to say.  It also figures amongst the 50 best romantic movies of all times. I am glad, I watched it. 

There was one thing, which struck me by the end of the movie, which speaks a lot about how our minds work, how relationships work.

Briefly, there is a love triangle in the movie which lasts for a lifetime.  A guy(lets call him the hero) is awed by this vivacious and spirited girl.  He also knows and acknowledges that she is pretty selfish, shrewd, clever and a little money minded.  He likes the girl's never say die attitude.  He admits to the girl at one point that since he himself is so selfish and shrewd, may be that's the reason why he loves her.  But the girl doesn't pay much heed to him... as she is already in love with a guy. But somehow, our hero persuades the girl to marry him, although he is aware about her basic nature, her love for another guy and has a feeling that the girl only loves his money and not him.

The point which struck me is that often we hate a person for the things, or traits, or habits or behaviour for which we had loved them at some point.  The guy knew very well about her free spirit, her ambitiousness, her courage, her charm which she often used to her advantage, her uninhibited display of her attraction towards the other guy .  But he goes ahead to marry this enigma.... only to be hating her for what she was later in his life.  And finally, he abandons her.

Have you ever felt so? Ever experienced that in your relationships?  Have you ever disliked the same thing you liked sometime in your loved one?  Share that with me. Personally, I have experienced it a number of times, and had wondered why?  The depiction of the characters in the movie brought out the thought again.  From "What a woman!" to "I don't give a damn to how you live now on" is a painful journey, which unravels the complexity of human minds.

If this thought struck a chord somewhere in your mind... do write to me.

RESTLESS

Don't Fall........ RISE in Love

It's Valentine's Day today.

A lot has been said against the celebration of this day... by many.... for many reasons.

But still, love is one emotion without which human existence may not be possible, or else I should say, we are not worthy of being called "human beings' if we cannot love.

It is said that love of a mother for her children is the purest of all followed by that of a sister for her brother.  It's unconditional.

And without love for your woman or man, life on earth cannot be possible.

What can I say about love, so i just thought of putting some quotes on love (the man woman context) , which make a lot of sense to me.  Here they are:-

“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were. ”          - Kahlil Gibran

"Our love is a relationship. And when love is a relationship, it creates misery. When love is a state of being, it creates bliss. A Buddha is also in love, but he is not trying to love you. Simply because of the way he is, love spreads. Love becomes a perfume and goes to the far comers of the earth."                                                                   -Osho

"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."     

                                                                                              - Khalil Gibran

                                                                                                         

"Love is not a relationship between two persons. It is a state of mind within yourself. If you are loving, you are loving to everybody — not only to persons, but to things as well. Love moves from you to objects also. Even when you are alone, when no one is there, you are loving. It is just like breathing. If I take an oath that I will breathe only when I am with you, only death can follow. Breathing is not relationship; it is not tied to any relationship. And for the etheric body, love is just like breathing. It is its breath."                                                                                      

                                                                                                  - Osho

Have a lovely day!

RESTLESS

Pic courtesy:http://infinityiitd.com

"Eat Pray Love"- My Journey With The Book

Dear Reader,

This is not really a book review, but it's my journey with the book.  Very subtly this book helped me smile, helped me express and help me get over my blues.  Surely, the book got me hook, line and sinker! And, that's the reason, I am writing about it.

And yes, by the way, you would be knowing about the much talked about movie with the same name, based on this book and starring Julia Roberts.

About the book :

The book, "Eat Pray Love" is a travelogue authored by Elizabeth Gilbert. The author (nicknamed as Liz) travels to Italy, India and Indonesia, to get over her depression, searching for peace, a meaning of her life and yes, happiness. It is a beautiful, a very honest, and very tender account of a 30 something woman, who writes with so much passion and with such simplicity (even in language), that you can not help falling in love with her writings.  The story revolves around the experiences, experiments and learning of the author.

The Story and my thought flow:

Liz is depressed due to her divorce to her husband of six years for REALLY NO BIG REASON! She is not able to figure out why she wanted the divorce.  She is not ready for motherhood, as a matter of fact.

Point to ponder : Divorcing a man who made your life hell can feel like a victory, but leaving the one who did not, can cause prolonged emotional conflict and pain, as you part.  But then, why does she want to part?  She seemed confused to me, as she says "She doesn't want to be married anymore".  Is it stagnation of a relationship? Is it that you have reached a saturation point?  May be, but she feels very strongly about it, as she sits and cries the nights through talking to herself.

Another thing, which made me think was that a Western woman in her 30s, waits for the feeling when she is ready for motherhood.  Liz knows 30s are like alarm bells for the reproductive cycle of a woman, hence feels the mental pressure but does not really feel ready to be a mother yet, from her heart.  (Her work involves a lot of travelling to distant places).  Has any Indian woman ever asked herself really  - "Am I ready to be a mother, a nurturer, a giver from now on?"  "I decide to be a mother".... or "NO, I don't feel that yet.  No I don't like children". Have we?  Can a woman utter such an un-womanly thing like " I don't like children" (not that I would like to hear this). Marriage, a streamlined life, financial security, body clock, Mom-in-law's advice are a few factors which make us think about having children, generally speaking. Ah, I know you are going to differ, ok pl write in comments, would like to hear : )

Meanwhile, she meets David, whom she feels is her soulmate, but the relationship fails as she is still coping mentally with the divorce she had slapped on her husband, who obviously is angry over it.  This added heartache, makes her decide to plan a tour to Italy, then India and then to Indonesia where she does exactly what has been said in the title -  Eat, Pray, Love, in that order!!

ITALY -  She spends four months in Rome, makes friends, has a crush for an Italian boy, loved the language and went head over heals on the pizzas and ice-creams (and things which I really could not prononouce or understand!).  Finally, she puts on weight too, but partially succeeds in getting over her anti-depressant pills. Binging on food is a common refuge from depression, she knows it, but still goes on with it.

INDIA - Stays in the Ashram of a Guru (name not disclosed).  Learns meditation with great difficulty, and very slowly, fighting with her physical self and her innerself. Here, she meets a person, who helps her connect with herself and forgive her boyfriend David and clear the air of negativity with her ex-husband, through meditation.  Liz believed David was her soulmate, so parting with him pained her deeply.

I was impressed by this wonderful explanation of the world 'soul mate', how we take it and what is the purpose of a soulmate in our lives, as explained.

" People think a soulmate is your perfect fit and that's what everyone wants.  But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.  A true soul mate is probably the most important person  you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.  But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.  And thank God for it."

INDONESIA - Finally, a transformed, a lighter and an enlightened Liz leaves to Indonesia, Bali.  There is a detailed account of the social, religious, political structure of the country (which can be boring for some). Her friendship with a medicine man (Vaidya, as we say in Hindi) Ketut, helps her stabilize better and Wayan - the lady with grit and talent (Balinese medicine and therapy) gives her good company. 

Just read this and you will know why Wayan's knowledge left me dumb struck !!:

"She (Wayan) opened her eyes, grinned and said, " I can tell by your knees that you don't have much sex lately."

I said, "Why? Because they're so close together?"

She laughed, " No - it's the cartilage.  Very dry.  Hormones from sex lubricate the joints.  How long since sex for you?"

And then, finally, Liz falls in love with a Brazilian guy Felipe, who's quite elder than her.  Though, she takes time to understand this was the man for her, but by the end she realizes she has found the man who really loves her and dotes on her.  A happy ending, but very touching, and quite romantic too!

While getting down from the boat on which both of them lazed around for some time, Liz speaks the Italian word she so loved - Attraversiamo, meaning  "Let's cross over".

The book kind of guides you towards the way to cross over your sadness, your sorrows, your lonliness through sustained efforts, through engaging yourself creatively and helping the one's who may need you.

Dear reader, Let's cross over!

RESTLESS