Ma, I Wish I Was Beaten Black And Blue : A Poem On Emotional Abuse

Dear reader, here is a poem on emotional abuse in relationships.  A married daughter tells her horror story of emotional harassment and mental abuse, which the mother does not want to understand, as she herself is helpless, but does not want her daughter to know it.

I WISH I WAS BEATEN BLACK AND BLUE

Ma,

I wish I was beaten black and blue.

For a hurt is never an offence for you

for a taunt doesn't even count,

for the words never leave a wound

to show the hatred abound.

You say, I have to bear with the insult hurled

for I am an Indian girl.

Remember the day you slapped me , Ma?

We cried together, for it was love.

I see no remorse in his eyes though

You say "but he loves you",

I wondered through and through.

You say, I have to bear with the insult hurled

for I am an Indian girl.

When I was pushed, I was surprised;

When I was slapped I wanted to shout;

And when I am pinned down to the bed

I close my eyes and remember you say that

I have to bear with the insult hurled

for I am an Indian girl.

You ask me show where he hit you?

But, what do I show you Ma?

A slap on my face doesn't cut my lips

a push till the wall doesn't leave a bruise

a hit of elbow on my breast

hurts... but doesn't leave me blue.

I wait endlessly to be beated black and blue

all these years

I have waited through.

I suffer, because I am not yet burned

I suffer, because I have no bruise to show

I suffer because for the world

the piercing of the soul matters not

I suffer because I am not beaten black and blue,

I suffer because I am not beaten black and blue.

Many women in marriages suffer emotional abuse all their lives from their partners or sometimes from other family members. Such verbal hurling of insults can have serious effect of a person's psyche, it can lower one's moral and self confidence, apart from making her dwell in self pity. Unfortunately, there was nobody to even acknowledge that such a problem exists, even in well off and educated families. Just 2-3 years back, the definition of "Domestic Violence" has been enhanced to cover emotional harassment also under The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005.   

A word of caution. On the one hand, women should be aware that nobody has the right to put them down, even emotionally, on the other hand they should not misuse the provisions to settle petty scores with the family in which they are married.

RESTLESS

(This is a series of posts I am writing on women issues in India. To read more see the label "women issues that baffle me" on this blog)