The Labyrinth of Silence

I don't know why, but for for last few days these words are echoing in my mind "i want to be in my labyrinth of silence".  Honestly I didn't know what do these words mean... even literally. I thought labyrinth was some narrow pathway. Probably, i got this idea from Biology lessons of human physiology, structure of human ear. So, I was quite surprised that a word is hitting me again and again, and I don't really know what it means.

And, it was strange that I, in all the clutter surrounding me, was looking for some introspective time, and these words kept coming back to me.  So, i felt like writing about it and only then did I google search it. And this is what I got :

"Labyrinths are geometric forms that define sacred space. They have been around for over 4000 years and are contained in every major religion. To walk the path is to make a pilgrimage that calms the mind so the person can reflect on the journey of life.

The centre is surrounded by 6 petals said to symbolise mineral, vegetable, animal, human, angelic and the divine. Some believe labyrinths were used to track lunar months and depict the orbit of the Mercury.

Walking into the centre of the labyrinth is the period of letting go, calming and empting oneself. The centre is for determining what it is that one actually requires from life and walking out is for gathering together oneself and experiencing wholeness and integration. [Adapted from writings by M. Crosby] " Content courtesy this site.

Then, here I got the symbolic meaning of the word ' labyrinth'. What I understood that is that walking in a labyrinth, you spend time introspecting, and  somewhere you can connect to yourself. So, a path created like that called labyrinth is actually something you can create in your mind too.... doing the same thing in your mind.

I don't know whether I can actually afford to go so quiet, but there is something in me, which is forcing me to go silent somewhere.... may be I am already silent on some level.

It's a strange thing, when you are talking with people, working in office, teaching your kids and still silent, inside.

Does that happen to you too?

take care

RESTLESS

PS: Am sorry dear pals, I'm just not able to read your blogs.... hope u'll understand.

How Do You Welcome The New Year?

I, along with all of you, have reached the last day of the year 2010.  At each year end, I'm reminded that just after another month, I will be celebrating my birthday.  My birthday still thrills me, as it used to when I was little girl.  I still smile ear to ear thinking about the day and how I would be celebrating it and what the people close to me would be gifting me. I still smile and my eyes still shine thinking about it!  Although, now I'm thinking of using an under eye cream to scare away those would-be wrinkles (did I say would be?!!)

Jokes apart, but, really this year is coming to an end. I'm trying to sum it up.  Remembering what I was doing the last year at this time. What all happened this year in personal and professional life.  I see some clear cut phases, devoid of the flow of time, the measurement of time.  There were phases of joys and sadness, like a cycle which went on.  Probably, now I'm used to it. Probably, now, at 35 I've learnt to see every problem as a situation. and every situation as an opportunity to learn and to grow.

I always wanted to say this, and today I'm saying it, but ironically,  to the people who don't know me as a person.  I'm thankful to all the difficult situations I've faced, because it is that testing and trying times, it's that difficulties of life and people related to my life which made me stronger, which made me sensitive and humane. (I say stronger and I say sensitive, in the same breath.  Yes, you can be strong along with being sensitive, only if you know how to manage your sensitivities, which can be quite a pain!!)

I thank all of them who hurt me.  If not for you, I would never have been able to question the meaning of life and would never have thought about searching for it.... my search is still on..... but am glad, that hardships pushed me to this level.... the level of being eternally RESTLESS.

Meanwhile, everybody is talking about taking a resolution for the new year.  I ask myself, do I have a resolution for the new year? Nah! , comes the reply.  Why wait for the close of an year to decide something about yourself.  Each day, each new day, we human beings are capable of making amends in ourselves, capable of learning and capable of unlearning.  So, I don't think, I need to take any resolve today. 

The only thing I can do is to reaffirm to myself that it's fine being myself and that my thoughts decide what I am, (ie., we are what we think).  So, I reaffirm to myself that I keep my thoughts pure and that I never intend to hurt or harm anyone.....

Having said that, let me tell you dear reader, a majority of which are the youngsters that Restless is not just about musing and pondering over things, Restless has got restless feet too!! I will be partying all night with close family friends and would be having a blast at the dance floor too!! But, that is just a part of the celebration, not THE celebration for me.  If I had not expressed myself and my heart felt thoughts at this juncture and to this wide array of reader and blogger pals, I would have felt "frivolous", would have felt incomplete..... So, I sign off now.... you too get ready for the celebration!

Have a beautiful and blissful times ahead....

Have a Happy New Year 2011

With love

RESTLESS

Hair - Herbal Hena To Hibiscus Hues !

Once upon a time, black, shiny hair were considered to be the barometer of your health, and the dull, light brown and dry hair meant the person is not having proper diet.  Today, the rules seem to have changed.  Brown and burgundy have become the new black.

Hena - The Natural Colour:

Earlier, women having grey hair would colour them with henna, mixed with various natural kitchen items to make them look black, orangish, or brown.  Don't believe me? Add boiled tea water or boiled coffee water to hena powder and see the effect. Also add curd, egg, and black pepper powder for relief from dandruff.  Also, cheap chemical dyes were also sold freely in market.  And people, especially women would buy them, as they were sold as herbal dyes. And it goes without saying that such products had a bad effect on the hair growth.

In those days colouring was done only if you have greys and women would generally shy away from telling that they apply hena on their hair, would also hide those tell tale signs of the hena marks on the forehead and near the ears!

Hair Colour - The Hot Trend :

And now, girls, in college, want to colour their hair and they do it too.  Streaking, highlighting, or colouring full head, take your pick. Choose from hues like light brown, burgundy, chestnut brown, etc.,  depending on your skin colour from international brands and join the hep club.  And then don't forget to buy a shampoo and conditioner especially for coloured hair.  And of course, you have to do touching (colour the uncoloured hair as it grows from the roots) to look great!  Be it colouring, straightening or perming, to look great you have to pay a big price too.  As they say, there are no free lunches!!

Greys are graceful :

It's not that coloured hair only look nice. Some women carry grey hair with grace.  I have always admired Indian actor Nafisa Ali, with her grey streak of hair.  She looks so beautiful with her healthy skin and fit body, and so active in social activities.  In fact, I like the picture of my co-blogger Sharbouri for this very reason, she looks lovely!

Hair And Money

Oh My God! this one pinches me badly.  The hair treatments (hair spa, olive oil massage by specialist etc), hair cuts, hair settings for occasions (blow dry, curling, rollers, buns and knots), chemical treatments of hair (perming, straightening, colouring etc) and the hair products for such coloured (damaged) hair (shampoos, conditioners, serums, leave in serums, special oils) etc are so expensive, can range from Rs 500-10,000, (oops! haven't yet downloaded the new Rupee symbol) depending on various things.  Beauty comes with a price tag!

Do hair style has something do with women's mind?

I think so.  First, if we see the evolution of hair styles in India, we see two plaits were synonimous of a teenager, graduating to one plait, a mature girl, and low bun would be donned by married women, with a palloo tucked to it. 

With exposure to new trends, with cinema actors being our models, of course fashion magazines, media, the desire to look good has increased. 

Hair is just one part of looking good, but the changing trend from low buns to today's open hair, I see it as women's sense of freedom from those set rules about dressing one's hair. We do form impressions about a woman seeing her hair style. I think, letting your hair down, this phrase came from the fact that enjoing yourself, having fun somehow means letting go of your hair in a free fall, a free wave!

By the way, while I was searching for 'indian women in buns' pics for my posts, I noticed that, these were rare.  More of western celebrities donned a bun or a knot than Indian beauties.  Shows the trend!

Have a colourful time!

RESTLESS

(If you liked this post then you'll like this and this too!)

PS: image on top courtesy fineartamerica.com

Mind Your Mane Baby!

I wrote about my trysts with my tresses in my last post ! Quite funnily, I realised that I can write so much about hair, so here I go blabbing about women's hair - this time cuts, styles and hair care  - then and now!

Hair and beauty of a woman:

The hair and  the hair-dos have been a very important part of a woman's beauty, but external beauty, as I have always believed that there is so much more in a woman to be and feel beautiful about apart from her looks.  The beauty of a woman, and for that matter a person is deeper than the skin, it beyond the physical form, it's intrinsic, a person exudes beauty, if he/she is beautiful inside, as a human being.

Although, interestingly, I read about this research a few years back that facial features hold a key to one's mental makeup or one's psyche. Hence, a face is more than a face really. 

Hair - then and Now

Hair of a woman are indeed one factor which not just affect her looks but also reflects so much about her - her ethnicity, her socio-religious background, her mind, her choices and yes, not to forget the trends of the times!

Talking of hairstyles and colouring in last twenty years, myself in 30s can say, it has undergone a tremendous change, just like the dress up of women.

Cuts - The Long And Short Of It !

During my school days, apart from the plain Jane, plaited look (one or two plaits) or a better version - pony tailed look, girls also sported short hair - mostly, boy cut (boy?!!), bob cut,   blunt cut, steps cut.  If you did not want the whole length to be altered, then you would go for a fringe cut in a layer, of course the part of hair close to the forehead.  Which cut to choose would depend on the shape of your face, the quality and texture of hair.

In last few years, the hair trends have changed and are changing so much. Years back, came the perming of hair.  Hair were curled permanently (lasted for a few years) in spirals or ringlets of various diameters, sometimes half length of the steps of cut hair and sometimes, the full length.  That was a rage at that time. 

Then came the straight silky look, with a shoulder length hair or little longer.  Since, I naturally had straight silky hair, so I suddenly realised I was having a trendy hairstyle, though without any effort.  And I was so flattered when girls would ask me, how do I manage to keep them straight? and what shampoo do I use?!  I would just smile and say - "Ah! it's natural!"

Since, then cuts mostly keeping the hair length till shoulders or little longer, with steps, layers, razor cuts, curled or straight are mostly kept by girls and women.  Sometimes, our bollywood beauties have donned a short crop or even bald look, which is not so common. .

Hair Buns And Knots :

Plaits or Braids :  The plaits have vanished gradually. Earlier, I was an unsaid code that unmarried girls used to make two braids and married would make one brain or a bun.  But all that has changed now.

Buns, Judas and knots: also started becoming a symbol of being elderly and were avoided by young married girls, even for family functions.

Moreover, earlier, growing up girls, would learn different types of Judas, before marriage, this trend has died down completely, with the blooming of beauty parlour culture.  In Delhi, you will find a beauty parlour in every place, small lanes, homes, posh areas or small colonies.  Women get buns and hair knots made for special family occasions by hair dressers in beauty parlours. The yesteryear's puffed up hair from front with a voluminous bun on top looks fabulous for traditional Indian marriages.  A French knot, my personal favourite, goes well, with traditional as well as formal wear.

Hair Extensions And Accessories :

extensions in many shades!

This cannot be complete without the mention of hair extensions.  Traditionally also, these were used by Punjabi women to make a long plait, with a further colourful and shiny glittery extension called paranda. 

The style in extensions also changed with very fine quality of hair extensions in various shades came to make the buns like chignon etc. Various hair accessories, pins, clips, highlighters etc also catch the fancy of many women. 

Washing And Care :

Even, washing hair was a ritual in those days(!). My mom would soak, amla, ritha, sikakai in a black iron vessel (kadai) overnight, boil them in the morning, and the cooled down matter was strained and hair were washed with this water (Jet black in colour). 

Then came the age of packed shikakai power, and the need to soak and boil was done away with.  Shampoos and soaps were also there, but were used sparingly. 

And now, nothing except a shampoo, with or without conditioner does anything to our hair. Although, excessive or concentrated use of shampoo damages hair.  Proper care should be taken while selecting a shampoo, keeping in mind the hair type.

Have a good hair day!

RESTLESS (Mane!)

PS: images courtesy- PINKVILLA.COM

PPS: The author has given her personal view and is no way should be taken as a professional approach

(This post in second in the series of three posts on womenfolk's hairy tales! this is the first one)

My Trysts With My Tresses!

I was always fascinated by my hair. Always wanted to do things with them. Sometimes, wanted to grow them long, some other time of my life, wanted them sweet and short! The crowning glory  of women has a special place in history as well as art, be it paintings, photography or poetry. Also, I think many women like me would have tried various hair styles in different stages of their life.  So, here I am writing about this girly thing!

To start with, as a little girl, I always wanted long hair like my mom. The kido me, used to cover my head with her chiffon dupatta and let the two ends of it flow and wave like long tresses, really loved that feeling!

Then came the school days, when my mom wanted me to have long hair, no cutting, no trimming. Of course, I had hair till little above my waist, so every morning combing, and tying the two plaits was quiet a torture. 

And the Sunday ritual of oiling the hair with coconut oil by my mom was a sticky mess. Mind you, this was done after washing and drying the hair (naturally). And this oil was supposed to be on my hair throughout the week, with no time to wash in between (eeks, how did I live like that?!). At that time,oiling and the rigorous massage of scalp, with involved merciless handling of hair, was considered a boon for hair growth. Thankfully, now it has been downgraded from the pedestal of respect as it is said to be cause of breakage and the oil attracting too much dust and dirt from all around, hence has suffered the plight of Pluto, the ex-planet.

Once, err twice..... hmm... may be thrice, i must have got my hair cut, a good length! The hair dressers would refuse to cut my long shiny and healthy hair, but somehow I would convince them!

Got my hair permed root to end, completely! Got streaking done once. Got various cuts, but preserving my long hair, long steps, short steps, razor cut, 'V' and 'U' shaped trimming and what not. Yes, finally I am sticking to the long straight simple hair style. You can see my love for my hair in my profile picture too!

Technology and hair styles

 Technology has played a good part in hair styling also. Earlier, girls would see the hair styles in magazines on those models, and would ask the hair dressers to do the same to their tresses. Of course, the result won't be the same, as the shape of the face and quality of hair play a big role in hair styling.  But now, I mean, for last 10 years or more, you have softwares, where you submit  your picture and see how you would look with a hair style, before a cut.

Feeling Blue - get a hair cut!

 

There is another interesting thing about hair and woman's mood (swing) . I have heard that when depressed, women like to change their hair styles!! Yeah, I can understand that a woman who feels depressed over not being able to change her life situations, sometimes MAY think of changing her hairstyle! It sounds funny, but I have heard this from many of my friends, that "when you cannot change anything, change your hair style"! They laugh as they tell me this, but somewhere I see some logic. In fact, I got my hair cut mostly when I was unhappy!! So, some proof. Let me know, have you ever felt this way?!

RESTLESS !

(This post in first in the series of three posts on womenfolk's hairy tales!)

image from:worldhairstyles.com and sidereel.com

An Ode To The Blogosphere

Engrossed!

Its going to be two months since I started blogging.  When I began I was alone, all alone, quiet, very quiet. But inside of me there was a turmoil, a storm, a stream of questions troubling me all the time. I was disoriented, middle age crisis?! ( now I wonder).  I was obviously unhappy, with myself, with my situation, basically myself.  Looking for an anchor in life to hold on to. I was slipping deep, I was slipping deep into depression.  The nothingness, this loneliness was killing me silently.  No, don't get those ideas, I have a lovely family, a good job, a comfortable lifestyle.  God has been kind, He made me suffer, work and wait, before He gave me the material comforts that I wanted for a normal (middle class) life.

So, in my unhappiness, I applied for a distance learning course, (I have to appear for the Entrance Exam also). Then began to read some books.  I read Caulo Paulo's Veronika Decides to Die (title was really appealing to me!) and the Alchemist,  I loved the books.  Then the third book was and is Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Girlbert.  You must be knowing there is a movie coming up featuring Julia Roberts.  This book brought out a change in me!

The author, known as Liz by her friends, and now by me too, was depressed, very very depressed.  Ah, she was much more depressed than me! A divorce, no children, and then a breakup.... ah serious heart ache..... Liz was crying, she was crying in the middle of the night, sitting in the bathroom like mad.  Suddenly, I could relate to her, I too was depressed!

But then she decides to go on a tour, all alone to Italy, then India and then to Indonesia.  She travelled, she ate, she prayed, and now she is in love in Bali! (presently I have finished the book till here)

Anyways, I started feeling better after reading her, seeing her so depressed. (So next time You are depressed, find another person who is more depressed than you, and you will feel better!) I made friends with her actually! When she stayed in Ashram in India, she became very spiritual, she learned to meditate (I already know it wow!), she introspected about her failed marriage and her failed relationship.  She learnt to forgive her ex-husband.  She transformed as a human being, I mean she felt a change of heart.

I would read the book, in the morning before going to work, and at night before I slept, sometimes early morning.  One night I even dreamt about my life, on the lines of the story. I knew I was living the book.  Her simple style of writing and understandable words ( I never used a dictionary for a single word) inspired something in me.  I wanted to express like her, I wanted to write about the small and the big things around me, about the things I learn, about the things I love and hate, just like her.  Something in me kept on churning,  my mind was on fire.  I already knew about blogging, it was not new for me.  One day I decided I want to write my blog.

And that was 25 June 2010, when I wrote my first post.  I was all alone, no friends here, no one knew RESTLESS existed, in fact she was just born, there were no joyful words welcoming her arrival (that was just a joke OK!). Then I wrote a post saying that I am a self talker, as there were no readers at that time. I had decided none of my friends or known people to be here, so that I can speak my heart and mind out without the consciousness of they being around or their watchful and curious eyes weighing my words and reading between my lines (our own people can be so judgemental  sometimes, what do you say?).

But today, Now , I am a happy, mentally and physically occupied person.  Feel elated because I have a medium to reach out to other people and share my thoughts with them. I am so grateful, I have a blog, Internet, a PC (or may be in the reverse order!), I am so thankful, I have made friends with so many blogger pals Purba, Divz, Addy, Varsha, Restless Souldier, Desi Girl, Vee, Sharbouri and many more with whom I interact through commenting and on forums. There are many many more bloggers with whose blog I like, and I interact frequently, they are becoming my friends slowly. 

It changed my life completely.  Its unbelievable for me. I am a happier person, though the challenges of life don't leave you, but somewhere I know I have a little world of my own, where I can write about My World My Perception.

Thanks to all my readers and my followers and the ones I follow for their support, their patience to read my rather long posts and giving their time to me to write those valuable and sometimes very lovable comments. 

A Restless Heart With

A Sensitive Mind !!!

What's Your Mental Age?!

You must have heard "maturity has nothing to do with age".  I have also heard it and always trembled in my heart with fear because I knew I was not becoming mature mentally, i mean more practical or balanced or wise , or worldly wise or things like that. Unlike my younger sister, who is always politcally correct, diplomatic and oh so polite in whatever she says (even in anger) I just knew I stand no where.  I was always playful, giggling, rebellious and adamant and on top of all argued with my parents while growing up, which of course gave me bad results in future.  I was always worrying when will I become mature?  When will I sound and be wise and serious looking and pakki in duniyadari... phew... all this, kind of scared me all these years, say after teenage said bye bye.

But recently, I read an interview of  Aamir Khan ( one of my favourites!) in which through an incident he told that his mental age was much less than his real age.  The incident was rather very funny, where he addressed another 39 year old woman as "Aunty"!!!! And of course, he was reminded by his friend about his rather improper salutation ! To which he might have apologized to the lady but replied to his friend that mentally he still feels 21!!

Oh God, what a relief !! Since that day onwards I started taking pride in the fact that I still feel myself as if I am in class XIth ( obviously not XIIth !!)  I was relaxed that at 35, I am fine feeling like a teenager.  I still cannot tolerate a college girl calling me Aunty !!  Well, I don't even look like one !

Have you ever thought about it ? What's yor mental age ?  Have you also not tried to hide that emotional teenager or a playful giggly girl, or a mischievious little brat behind the covers of your current physical age?

I would love to hear you speak, dil se!  Do write a comment and tell me What's Your Mental Age?!

I Am A Self Talker!

It amazes me sometimes how much can I talk with myself?! How much can I be in my company and never get bored of myself.  Mostly I am alone, but never lonely.  I mean that is when NOBODY has disturbed my inner peace.

As a self talker, I keep talking in my mind as if telling my autobiography.  At times, I am in converstiaon with myself, telling myself things and laughing on them too!  Oops! it can be embarassing sometimes. You know you have to pretend as if you were just humming a line of a song!

Now, with the beginning of writing this blog, it is almost becoming a therapy for me. I am enjoying the fact that I am not just a self talker but am also a writer of a blog... with only myself reading it! ( I mean till I meet my like minded pals on the blogspot!).   But its quite relaxing.  As if the World Wide Net has lend one ear to me and I can hum my sweet nothings in it!  As if, I have found a little opening where I can scream out loud and be heard by many.

It has made me happy, deep within me.

To my blog.... with love

Dear Blog!

I know i created you, but actually its you, who I look at for life, for a direction, for inspiration, for joy and for happiness.

You dont know it, but actually I am always connected with you!  I write sometimes in you, but mostly, you would be surprised to know, I am talking to you when I am working or travelling  etc.  I blab to myself as if I am in speaking in a dictaphone, which will in return transcribe everything as a new "Post" in the Blog!!

I am always thinking what will I tell you when I meet you, my dear blog......... It seems I am in love with you!

Take care honey......

will be back soon!