Why Is It So Difficult To Deal With Women?

Are you a woman, and have you ever thought like this?  Why is it so difficult to deal with women?  Have you ever experienced this?  Have you ever felt that in personal relationships too being friends with boys, while in school or college or work place, was less complicated than girls? 

I think, that on professional front, surely, it is a lot more easier to deal and communicate with men than with women. You can be to the point with them, they don't mind if don't get into a polite talk before coming to the main agenda. But, women being more sensitive, tend to feel bad if we get too officious with them.  They feel you are showing your authority, and hence get defensive.  Not that, this does not happen with men, but I have experienced it less.  Again depends on the educational background and the age group of a man, how he would respond to an independent woman. Keeping in view the    psyche of women, I have always had a softer approach towards them, especially at work place.


Also, since, I am a sensitive person, I like to be sensitive towards others.  I am careful with my selection of words with men, understanding that men have  a big ego, no matter what are they working as.  But had been extra careful with lady co-workers, juniors and seniors.  


I understand that although women and men are equal as far as professional work is concerned, but some amount of sensitive behaviour is required while dealing with women.  So, I do maintain it, always maintained it, till this day, when I am forced to question my choices, forced to question my strange thought process about dealing with women. (By the way, listening to this, my junior, a man, joked that it is men who keep these soft behaviour and courtesies for women! and that he had never heard a woman being considerate for other women co-workers. He had a point!)


Well, a situation which I faced at my work place just 2-3 days back, has made me rethink about my choice of being considerate towards the females.  


The Incident which triggered this unrest in me -

Everybody is supposed to follow certain norms, and if one person chooses to ignore it suddenly, there has to be some reason.  It pertained to my work area, so the polite talk got off the track, when I asked a point blank question to this lady, senior to me, as to why she chose to return the papers without signing them, which she was supposed to read and sign?

The only reason to be so direct was to understand the reason and I had all the right to know it.   It was no done - be it a man or a woman.  

To that question, a man, might have simply replied telling me the reason or his apprehension or his mistake or would have requested to meet me to tell his view point.  But this lady immediately made our office, the drawing room of her home and our  discussion turned into accusation with me feeling like a Bai(!!!)  She turned the official talk into some domestic maid discussion, by adding a personal attack to it (starting with "if you have a problem, then....").  From where did I come in between, I am following instructions given by my boss, and it's equal for everyone.  Nobody had a problem but her. I don't like to argue, but this time I did.  


Needless to say, it left me with a bad taste and set my mind thinking, questioning my choice to be so polite with someone just because of the gender. 

This incident left me feeling very hurt for a few hours.  But I did not share my feelings with anyone, because I wanted to do a self analysis.  I didn't want any sympathy for a senior's rude behaviour, I wanted to understand what made her say what she said.  I took it as a learning.


Understanding the communication patterns:

My conversation, a typical conversation with a male colleague would start with a greeting and I will say what I have to say. No dilly dallying, no worrying out hurting his ego or something.  I am just doing my work, so it should be fine with him, of course I will be courteous while dealing with my senior, but it's point blank, followed by a little formal smile, and off I go.

Now compare it with my conversation with a lady - colleague or a senior.  It would always start with looongish greetings, followed by a little small talk on the dress or weather or children or schools ( huff! I just hate small talk!)  And then, it will be about the work.  (As if work was only an extra activity, we are here for!) Again followed by a large ear to ear smile and a byeeee (as if we are parting for life!) And , huff, then I take a sigh and begin my work. 

You will wonder why do I have to do it, if I so dislike it?  You have a point dear!  But let me tell you, your interaction (I mean if you are a woman) with another woman depends on more factors than the work, or work place.  There are a few things, which I have observed over these few years. 


Don't mind, I am just trying to laugh, so join me  :)

How another woman would talk/interact with you depends on:

Your looks includes dress up - If you are good to look at, one, you can be treated as 'dumb', and two, you are going to deal with some insecure women around!

Overall personality, includes your smartness, your communication skills, etiquette etc- If you have these traits too, you are bound to face tougher challenges, as you fail to fall in the category of "dumb"!

Position in the organisation - Your work profile, your placement in the organisation, or your designation affects other people's interaction with you not just related to work.  But also their personal equation depends on which step of the staircase are you standing on.  Obviously, how so ever smart you look, if you have been assigned a work which does not involve much interaction with seniors, you are much less a threat!

Your rapport with your seniors and bosses - Now this one hurts the most.  If you happen to have all the above traits and then, due to your meticulous working, your positive attitude, your team work, your dedication, you happen to be amongst the well trusted persons of your boss, then lady, you've had it.  Be ready for some fumes!


Your social status - Let me admit that this also works at the background. This factor includes the occupation of your spouse also in some places.

Either be ready for a clash over petty things, or simply be a little smart, and be nice and polite and get going with that small talk.


Having said that, let me clarify, that these factors are not really gender specific.  While women would consider these factors in this order to ascertain how to interact with you, men consider these to see whether to interact with you or not, I mean given a choice!


Also, let me say that women can be real good friends, in fact, I am lucky to have a close friend, J.  The very basis of our friendship is that communication between us is straightforward and have no space for niceties and small talk, we have no qualms about being out of communication for days altogether, we don't discuss other people, and we are honest to each other, at times ruthlessly honest, and we don't mind it, but still we use the three magic words - sorry, thank you, please, in abundance.


Trying to analyse .. well this is loud thinking - 

I was trying to analyse this situation. (although I am tempted to rant over this!!!!) I think it is more to do with the left brain - right brain theory.  Men tend to use more of their left side of the brain, which is responsible for logical thinking, analysis, facts, etc. and women, generally, tend to use more of the right brain associated with feelings and emotions.  Of course, there are exceptions. 

Lesson Learnt -

But that day, I learnt a new lesson of interaction with women.  No matter what you do, some people don't seem to understand that they are being given this treatment by virtue of their gender.  Today, I am bound to think, was my gender specific treatment right?  Should I have been, in the first place giving ladies a preferential treatment?  The idea was only to have a good working relationship, to have a warm working environment.  

I have been proven wrong, it is not about gender.  It is about the person.  It's not that I was rude with men, but I was to the point with them, and they (I have more men as colleagues and juniors than women) had no problems with it. 

This day has changed my perception of women completely.  Not that, in the past, such things were not thrown on my face - women talking behind your back, women gossiping, arrogant women, women using emotions to get a lenient treatment at workplace, but this is the final straw for me.  When your politeness is taken as a right, you should know how to show a person his or her place!  And I am going to do that.

What do you think?  Understanding women is more difficult than men? Ah, of course I have seen those lists 'what women want' thing!  Is dealing with women bosses tougher too? Is working with women sometimes makes you scratch your head? Do let me know!


RESTLESS :)

PS : Wanna know are you a left brainer or right brainer? try this! :If you cross the fingers of both your hands, forming a loose "Namaste" or the way we fold hands to pray, we tend to put one thumb over the other.  Do it quickly and see! If you have ur right thumb up, you use more of your left brain ie, analytical and the vice versa.  I don't know whether this can be scientifically proven, but I have found it to be true for many people.  It works for me too!


PPS: I am ready for the brickbats now!

PPPS: oops! corrected errors left - right (!) Thanks Vikram Karve!


image courtesy :/www.dailymail.co.uk

Symbolic Festivities

We celebrate so many festivals throughout the year.  some don't make sense to me, and some... well make me ponder.  But this festival makes me feel sad. It's Dussehra.

I have written extensively on Raavan and why I feel we could not understand him or probably we chose not to understand him.  You can read my views on Raavan, Ram and Sita in my posts Defending Raavana and Raavana Is In My Soul.  Here is a glimpse.

"OK, alright, yes he abducted another man's wife but did not force himself.  He fought a fair war for what he thought was right in his eyes.  After all, women were used for political reasons like commodities (defeated kings offering their daughters for marriage to the winner etc).  Also, I fail to understand why Laxman is in no one's bad books for slashing the nose of a (demon) young girl, who showed interest in him?!!  When women could be won, or lost, or earned, or whatever then why, in that era, such hue and cry for stealing a woman?  From that point of view, what should be the punishment for raping one's own daughter? Should THEIR effigies not burnt then?  Raavan, still, had the courage to fight, actually fight a war for that woman (how flattering is that now !!!)"

This year too, effigies of Raavana, along with his brother Kumbhkaran and son Meghnad, were burned, with loads of crackers, fun, dandiya, music, and chaat papdi stalls.  I too attended the local celebration. 

But I was pained, as always.  Seeing him stand there, at the mercy of people, common men and women, who themselves don't understand the meaning of the festival.  For them, he is the demon, but nobody will think how was Ram as a husband and as a father. Was a woman called Sita wronged somewhere? Who's bothered.  I hear some new TV serial is coming called "Ganga ki Dheej", (what does that mean?) which also talks how can a woman give proof of her purity. Uff! I have no words. All this just defies logic for me.

But, this year witnessing the effigy of Raavana go up in flames brought out some more painful thoughts in my mind.  Just a month back, I heard, there was a video clip of a young boy who got electrocuted while climbing over the top of a stationary train in Australia, and some one commented about this horrific scene as "this could be a way to get rid of Indian students from Australia" (not the exact words, but something like this) . He surely had to face the wrath of the world.  It was such a shameful thing to say.

leftovers of dussehra



But, that is what I felt like seeing the dark, slim and tall effigy of Raavan beginning to spark and burn from the top (or at least that is how it looked to me). 



Through this festival, are we not promoting the feelings of violence? Are we not saying it is OK to see some person, or his symbolic presence, to be burned and mutilated? Raavana is looked down upon, humiliated every year.  We celebrate the victory of goodness over evil.  But, have we ever questioned our choices?  What was evil in that era, is the norm of this era.  If we really see, we, the common man would be at par (or rather worst than him in many cases) with the villian of that era.  Is it not time, we change the symbols of evil?  Is it not time we understand that raping a woman is worst than abducting and then waiting for that woman to accept your love? Okay, yes, agreed Raavana had ego, which ruined his kingdom.  Do we not have ego?  Where does the modern man stand in front of Raavana?

But still, Raavana will be burned, his effigy filled with expensive big crackers will go up in flames each year.  We will be left with the wooden carcass of the evil demon lying helplessly on the ground surrounded by the paper, ash and half burnt pieces of shells, every year. 

It's time we question our choices. It's time we understand the true meaning of the festival.  It's time we win over the devil in our selves - our ego, our selfishness, our pettiness, our greed, and our lust before we dare to touch the Raavana. 

RESTLESS

Ragging - Who Is Responsible?

Finally (?) the four boys who ragged and beat to death Aman Kachroo, a first year MBBS student at Tanda Medical College, Himachal Pradesh, India, would be behind the bars.  The Court has handed out a punishment of four years rigorous imprisonment (RI) to these four boys. 

Prof Kachroo (Aman's father), who worked as a Professor in DU, had quit his job to start this campaign against ragging in the country.  This case shook the whole nation.  Although, ragging was not a new thing, it was rampant and even such fatal incidents were also taking place.  But, the man behind the campaign put in whatever he was left with, after losing his son Aman, for this cause.  It is commendable.  Grieving for your child is one thing, and fighting to save others' is another.  I wrote about this some time back in my post "Hats Off Prof Kachroo"(Pl see in a new tab)



Prof Kachroo. (Aman's pic in background)

The Aman Movement -

It was commendable on Prof Kachroo's part not because he fought in the courts to get justice for his dead son, but because, he worked  for a bigger cause, to make everybody aware about the rampant spread of ragging in all the educational institutions of India.

The efforts of Prof Kachroo bore fruits when the State Government of Himachal Pradesh (India) passed a legislation against ragging, 'The Himachal Pradesh Educational Institutions (Prohibition of Ragging) Act, 2009' in August last year. The act states that students involved in ragging would not only be expelled and be ineligible for admission to any other institution for three years, but may also be jailed and fined Rs 50,000.

Why Ragging? 

Ragging, understandably, is done to get acquainted with the juniors.  It surely has some hint of insecurity in the seniors, who think it is justified to make the new comer look stupid in order to retain his importance in every body's eyes. Within limits, it could have been a healthy way of mixing up with college mates and making new friends, but unfortunately, it is not so in many cases.

Right now, the four boys have been pronounced a RI of four years, but I still wonder that -

Is the punishment justified?

I mean putting these young men behind bars for four years (out of which 20 months they have already put in) enough to change everything?  The roots of this cause are much deeper than they apparently seem.  Yes, it does send a signal, in fact, this case is quite a victory in many ways. It is quick justice.  Two years is all it took. The guilty put in jail, the head of the college made to retire compulsorily as a penalising measure, and a new law made in the State to counter such incidents.  Yes, it is justice in many a ways.

But, we got to look deeper.  What is causing the youth to be so insensitive, so aggressive, so violent? who is actually responsible for such reckless behaviour which results in such a suffering for many?

As parents, we tell our children to give back to whosoever hits them. We think, the scuffle he had in the school is some childish act.  We ignore our child's complaint if someone irritates him, or teases him in the class.  Same thing happens when your college going, or hosteler son tells you about the problems he is facing.  You might think these are teething troubles.

We tend to tell them to adjust. Same goes with daughters who tell their mothers about harassment faced in her marital home, she is told to adjust.  Don't you think, it is pure weakness on our part, when we choose to ignore what our child is trying to tell us?  Of course, jumping the gun each time would be foolish, but in most of the cases, the parents are aware what is happening to their child, but they choose to remain silent, as if indirectly telling the child to learn to take the hits of life. Of course, we, as parents are responsible.  We must pay heed to the words and the silence in between.

Institutions and Law - In this case, the Principal of the College is made to leave.  Now is it sufficient?  He will go and another unarmed soldier will come to fight the battle.  We are aware that carrot and stick is required to make people walk the line (which is unfortunate though).  Where is the carrot, read any negative marking for indiscipline? Where is the stick?  meaning, any rule of the university backed by the Law of the State?  In absence of these, expecting a college principal to handle young boys, raw and bubbling with energy is foolish. 

Although, while researching for this post, I saw this report "The Menance of Ragging in Educational Institutions and Measures to curb it" submitted by the Committee constituted by the country's highest Court after the various ragging cases in the country.  It was a huge report, but after reading a few relevant portions, I could understand that laws to control ragging exist in various States of the country, but still they are not enforced.  The reason could be the lack of will by the institutions. Again, it's the chalta hai (casual) attitude.

Did something go wrong in our upbringing?

When the youth, which grows on corporal punishment in school and peer pressure of the stronger or the wealthier classmates;  the youth which grows under parental insensitivity; the youth which grows up with the porn, which grows up with violent computer games and lack of a role model, he surely, begins to take pride in breaking rules, trying to set his own. 

He feels macho when he begins his first beer or talks filthy with his friends (you know what I mean?), he feels he is a man now.  It is that extended machoism, when a group of students feel it's right to exploit or harass physically, mentally  and sexually, another person, who is comparatively weaker than him.

It's time we ask, where have we gone wrong? These last 10 to 15 years specially, we saw how values were given a back seat.  It was only limited to "Value Education" book prescribed to junior classes in public schools.  Families only wanted marks and grades.  Somewhere, we are to be blamed.  We got to look within.

External Discipline Has Ruined Us-

How many times have we, as kids, finished our home-work because the teacher might scold us?  How many times we observed the discipline in our work place because our boss might get offended?  How many times have we followed the traffic rules, though grudgingly, because the traffic cop is watching us?  We do it, all the time, because we've got used to external discipline. 

We want to know what will be the penalty if we break a rule, and if it is not much, we can consider breaking rule for fun.  Until Delhi Govt didnot impose heavy fines on not wearing helmets on two wheelers and not tying seat belts in cars or on jumping red lights, we were OK with it.  We were ready to shell out that Rs 100-200 (or whatever it was), but felt the helmet was too much of a pain.  We say "Rules are for Fools".  This is where we go wrong.  And this is what the price we pay. 

The sense of discipline should be intrinsic. There is some saying which means, you are what you would do, when no one is watching! (let me know if someone knows the actual saying) so, till the time the sense of discipline is not internal, we will keep waiting for that stick to hit us. We'll keep waiting for accidents to happen to improve ourselves.  It is really very important to inculcate self-discipline in children.  Let them be self driven, let them decide their path, parents got to be the guiding lights for them.

 

I sincerely hope that the youth of the country would try to understand that crushing somebody weaker than you is not machoism and the parents will understand that boys also need to cry, give them your open arms, when they need you. Read your child's words and more importantly his or her silence.

 

 

RESTLESS

Custodial Death Of A Rapist - Should We Be Happy??

Ideally, I should not have been happy to read this news.  It's about death.  about death of a human being.  About death of a man in police custody.  Does death in judicial custody not bring out anger in us?  It does.  But not this time.  I am sorry.  I am surprised with myself.  But, I am happy to know, this guy Mohana Krishnan who was a cabbie in Coimbatore was killed in a police encounter two days back. 

Was it a conspiracy? Or the alleged "act of self-defence" by the police officers? or the Robin Hood act?  I don't know.  But as a citizen of this country, where there is a general feeling of hopelessness in the law and order situation, I am happy.  As a mother, I am happy.  As a woman I am happy.  But believe me, as I type this, there is no smile on my face, because as a human being, somewhere I am pained by this man's death, because ultimately he was a human being, who had even requested his doctor for a lethal injection during the medical examination just 2-3 days before his death in this shoot out, when he allegedly snatched the revolver of one the police inspectors and shot him.

I share my happiness of this fast track justice with those many cab drivers and auto rickshaw drivers and the people of Coimbatore who celebrated his death by distributing sweets.  Of course, they had a reason to be happy.  After all, this man had brought a bad name to their profession.

Mohana Krishnan, a 23 year old cab driver, who worked as a school van driver for a few days, picked up two children, a 10 year old girl and her younger brother before their usual school van arrived.  He had originally planned to abduct the kids for ransom, but later developed cold feet.  He tortured the children, raped the little girl and later threw the helpless innocent children in a canal near Tirumurthy dam, 77 kms from Coimbatore.  He was helped by another tractor driver.  This is such a ghastly act.  How can we be so intoxicated with greed, with lust that we are unable to understand how helpless a child is?  Were we not children once.... does that memory also does not scare these animals when they decide to do such ghastly acts against little angles??

This man, died in police custody, while he was being taken to another place (the reasons behind his movement at the early hour is unclear).  Police says that this guy snatched a revolver and was almost on a shooting spree, when they had to kill him in self defence.  As expected, there is an enquiry into this matter.  (Thankfully, a small news in one corner of the newspaper, and not the front page, mentioned about it today, or else I would called it displaced sense of priority or sensitivity).  Now, the Human Rights people may also raise their voice on custodial death.  May be they have a point, yes they have a point, as whether a person is guilty or not is decided by judiciary and not the law enforcing agency ie Police. 

But, do you know, a similar case happened in Delhi just one odd month back.  A school van driver, again a young man, used to sexually exploit three siblings - one girl and two boys, all between 6 to 12 years age (as far as I remember), the girl being the eldest.  This man, on the pretext of picking these kids up for school would take them to some houses, where he had access and would rape the girl and sodomise the boys. The kids were drugged every time.  They got used to the material abuse.

All this continued for almost two years.  I am aghast to think about it.  The kids were too scared as the man allegedly had made MMS of the three kids in objectionable condition and had threatened to kill them as well.  The pitiable part is that their widowed mother was a working woman, living alone with kids in Delhi, and she could never realise, that the children are not reaching school for many a days.  The kids, specially the girl started withdrawing herself and showed change in behaviour, of course the drug had physiological effect on all three of the kids.

It shocked me and pained me, as everyday, the update on this kept coming.  Just another day, I read that, this man guilty of drugging and sexually exploiting poor and helpless kids had been arrested.

Now, does it make us content?  Does taking somebody to custody is punishment enough?  Will he be tried? or will he manage to unshackle himself, courtesy some who's who of the power capital Delhi?  Will the children, who had to be put in a rehabilitation centre to get out of habit of drugs, would ever live a normal, healthy life?  This scar in their innocent minds will pain them all their lives. 

And if the the situation goes bad, in all likelihood, we are witnessing  the making of another rapist, another abductor, another thief, another molestor.  Will he be or for that matter, they be feeling guilty of what they are doing..... when they grow up? NO.  because they would be giving back the society what they got.  They had their childhood trampled under a pair of filthy boots, they are going to give the filth back on the face of their world, their families, their relationships and anybody who comes in touch with them.

However, education can help, counselling can help, but a bad memory of childhood moulds us, moulds our psyche and our being.

There is a need for us, parents, us guardians, and teachers and people to preserve the childhood of not just our children but children, in general.  The channel of communication with our kids should always be open to know what they are experiencing.  Parents need to be more sensitive and perceptive with small children, as they don't even know how to express things.  We have a huge role to play in this increasingly unsafe world.  Also, please try to think beyond my kid, my home, my family mentality.  We get affected because overall, situations go bad,  and we keep our eyes shut saying, this has not happened to me.  It's time we stop being selfish.

Meanwhile, the accidental shoot out or encounter, whatever you call it, this quick justice is making me feel good...... mmmm bad..... well a mixed feeling.

How do you feel about it? let me know.

RESTLESS

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Why Do Men Like Patakhaas - Fire Crackers And Hot Chics??!!!

I was thinking to name this post as "Why do you like the noise of Patakhaas (fire crackers)?"  But, I am made to change my mind..... no, I don't want it to make it so generic.  Gender generic, I would say.  While, I was writing down my points for the post in my writing pad (yes, mostly I write on a piece of paper with a collected mind, before typing it out!), I came to some strange ... ehm.... well... conclusions!  Men like Patakhas - both the fire crackers and the hot chics!

OK, to start with, Have you ever seen girls or women bursting crackers ?... those loud sounding explosive stuff, I mean? I am sure, No.  Just in my last post, a co-blogger Nethra commented how she dislikes crackers part of Diwali.  Even I was always very scared of fire crackers as a kid, and later on began to dislike that loud, deafening sound of such high decibels, that you instantaneously cover your ears with hands, close your eyes tight and run to a corner.  I began to find it disgusting gradually, as I would see groups of young boys taking pride in the aftermath of thick smoke, scattered pieces of paper all over the roads and many pairs of angry eyes and a few smirking faces around them.  Yes, they would be jubilant after burning them, especially after burning a series of crackers tied together. It was a macho act for them. 

I used to wonder, what makes them so happy and proud? Do they not know that Diwali crackers makes the life of elderly people, small children, infants and pets so so miserable?  Elderly can not take rest. Small children are to be protected by the parents all the time from going any closer to such places, as their reflexes are not so quick to run away.  Infants, oh dear, you have to see how a newly born to six months old baby reacts to the blast, even at a far away place, with such a scared rather shocked way, even when he is asleep.  Therefore, mothers are advised to put a little cotton wool in the ears of babies to minimise the exposure to the noise. And, those who have pets know it, And that how pet dogs have to be kept in some closed kind of a room to save them from the human celebration effect.  Also, people suffering from breathing trouble experience great difficulty during this time, due to smoke.

Are these reasons not enough to decide for a person to avoid fire crackers? I wonder.

Coming back to the gender connection to bursting crackers. Does only the social conditioning and upbringing make males so aggressive or is it the physiology and genes too?

I was discussing with somebody as to what could be the reason that mostly boys do it.... the answer was, to seek attention!  Men, I won't say have to keep on trying to get attention, but surely have competition more than women have.  Blame it on the demography of a developing country or the genetic make up that makes the male of the homo sapiens are always eager to pass on  the genetic material with zeal. (Survival for the fittest?) 

By the time, I was writing this article, news about two such scientific researches/studies have come up, which suggest that aggressiveness promiscuousness has been more in the males right from the time they were cavemen, rather more at that time than to this stage of evolution. 

The researches, I would say Science, is beginning to shed light on the genetic or hormonal reasons behind the desire of men for mating more and more women. (On the lighter side, I feel the researcher must be a man!)

Another finding which connects the sexual aggressiveness of cavemen with the size of their finger brings the same point home again. High levels of the testosterone hormones increase the length of the ring finger in comparison to the index finger, resulting in a low index- to ring-finger ratio. A study of fossilised remains suggests that our ancient ancestors had far higher levels of the male sex hormone testosterone than people living today, thereby making them more aggressive and promiscuous.

Well, whatever is the outcome of these studies, one thing can be said with utmost conviction that men really like Patakhas - the fire crackers as well as the hot chics alike!

So guys, stay from the fire variety this Diwali and every Diwali!

On a serious note, within last few years, the initiative taken by Delhi Govt and Delhi schools, children have been made aware of the harm caused by the fire crackers and "Say No To Crackers" slogan has begun to show results as kids are spreading this message around and avoiding crackers to a great extent.  This is a wonderful change.  Let's all of us do our bit to avoid noise and air pollution.  Also, think about those many little hands which are forced to work in factories which make these crackers.  You are not giving them employment, you are giving them a curse to continue being an illeterate worker, who will one day burn their hands for you.

Have a beautiful Diwali dear reader!

RESTLESS :)


images: courtesy google images


PS: Changed post title later

Diwali Cleaning and Decorating- Simple Fundas

Are you wondering from where to start cleaning your home, as Diwali is just around the corner??  Don't fret.  Here are a few steps and tips for the hassled and working people to organize and decorate their sweet homes in a jiffy and on a low budget.

SIMPLIFYING CLEANING  WITH THESE STEPS:

DE CLUTTER -  Identify old, chipped or cracked show pieces, vases etc from your living room and just dump them.  Check your kitchen for those empty soft drink bottles, jam jars, plastic take-away boxes. Clear your bathroom of those almost finished shampoo and conditioner bottles and other unusable things.

Take a quick look at your wardrobe.  Take out a few pair of old dresses, faded T-shirts, trousers which don't fit anymore, old and worn out shoes or slippers and put everything in a plastic bag.  Give it away to the first person you meet who needs it, may be your maid servant or guard or some other helping hand.

Now when you have managed to get rid of unwanted things lying around in the house, it's time to reorganize the existing one's.

ORGANIZE AND REARRANGE THE FURNITURE - The key to a clean home is that there should be fixed places to keep everything.  So much so, that you can tell without seeing what article would be found where.  If you haven't done that, try to make place for things in a logical way.

A room can be made to look appealing to the occupants by re-arranging the pieces of furniture, rugs, even wall hangings and paintings.  For example, if you were keeping the sofas or chairs far away from the centre table, try to make a close sitting arrangement, placing side tables symmetrically. (I think, while buying sofa sets, tables etc, this idea of flexibility should be kept in mind, as fixed heavy and large pieces become very boring later).  So, get creative and change the setting of the room.

CLEAN, DUST OFF, WIPE :  Now, when things have take their place, clean up things. If you have time, cover the furniture with an old bed sheet and dust off the roof, walls and behind the curtains.  If you don't have time, use a dry duster to do quick dusting, followed by wiping glass surfaces some product like Colin. Brass and Silver articles will need extra effort to clean.  Of course, lastly, do or get done a thorough sweeping and swabbing on the floor.



Give your home a traditional touch with these things:

•  Tie a Bandhanwar or Toran (a door garland) at the entrance door of the house, it immediately gives that festival feel to the house. You will get these made of artificial flowers with mirror work etc, in different price range.

Bandhanwar

• Rangoli - Now a days, we get small bottles of different coloured rangolies (dried powder) and with that you get a stencil too, so you don't really have to be creative to make one. I got a pack of four rangoli colours for about Rs 60/-, which is quite cheap.  Will be trying my hand on it this time.  The way to sprinkle it is, that u take a pinch at a time pour slightly on a design made by chalk first. Do try!

Here is a design for rangoli making

•  Diyas and Candles -  There are a variety of diyas and candles available in the market.  But if possible do buy them from a charitable organisation, where the returns go to the needy or the articles are prepared by the underprivileged.  You can go to Blind school, next to Oberoi Hotel, New Delhi, where a huge Diwali Mela takes places every year.  You get beautiful candles, hand made paper items and Ganesha Laxmi idols made by the visually challenged students there.

My Diwali decorations of last year!

Tip: You can avoid the expense of wax diyas, simply buy plain clay diyas, a small bottle of mustard oil and a packet of wicks (batti).  There is nothing more beautiful on a Diwali night than the sight of  twinkling flames of diyas, it does not matter are they simple ones or designer ones.

Place the diyas on the exterior of the house, on stair case and corner of the rooms. Floating diyas in a glass bowl with some rose petals sprinkled does wonder to lift up the ambiance of the room.

• Flowers - You can bring life to the room by putting just two or four bright coloured flowers in a vase.  Try it, you really don't need to buy a big bunch or a bouquet. While buying flower buds, you can always ask the florist for some rose petals to use like this picture below:

Just a glass plate, a diya, and yellow and red rose petals
(again my pic!)

• Fragrance - Light up one or two incense sticks for that traditional feel.  Keep them in a corner, close to a window or door.

The expense for these six decoration tips won't be more than Rs 500/-.  So make sure you dress up your sweet home with colours, lights, flowers and fragrance this Diwali.

I think instead of spending money on fire crackers, we should try to create a clean and safe home.  I am going to write a post on "crackers" and why do men love it?! Does it sound sexist? May be it is! So do read the next post too!

Have a beautiful Diwali!

RESTLESS  :)

First two pics at diwali-celebrations.blogspot.com

Common Wealth Games And The Cultural Fiesta

It seems talking about Common Wealth Games is so passe now!  Nevertheless, I want to share some scanned images of handouts etc depicting the cultural fiesta the city was enjoying during the Common Wealth Games (phew! now I got time!).  In fact, we the Dilliwalas were visible all over the places from music concerts to exhibitions and not to forget the food festival.  No trace of tourists of other countries!



Shriram Bhartiya Kala Kendra showed a dramatic presentation of Ramayana.





Live music concert at Qutub Minar Complex



These were the singers who rocked the crowd, huge crowd! Two singers performed each evening.

So, during the games Dehi Govt had organised a variety of activities for promotion of culture of the city.  You had to pick up things of your choice.  You could enjoy live musical concerts, ghazals, Qawallis, food festival, book exhibition of Common Wealth countries, photo exhibitions (See Dilli Nama Pics - An exhibition on Delhi)

 You could enjoy the Ho-Ho ride (Hop on Hop off ride),  and visit the historical places of Delhi.  The known and unknown historial monuments were lit up, the museums, which are many in Delhi (I love them) were also showcasing the rich heritage of the country.  Also, the Nehru Planetarium, which was closed for quite some time for renovation was opened for public sometime on beginning of October. It's a must watch place, I will catch it up soon with my kids.

There were some very useful handouts and brochers given out by Delhi Government, which serve as a guide to the historial monuments and museums and other places of tourist attaractions.  Not just for foreigners, but even for the residents of Delhi, they will serve a great purpose, especially, if you a parent or are interested in visiting places apart from malls and PVRs.  I somehow love to go to such places where you get to learn something.  See the scanned pic of the map, though a small fragment it is, the map was huge.

And this is the pic of Nehru Stadium, which of course looked amazing! The purple colour as seen would change to different hues and it being huge, was visible for a great distance too

And let me share that the Youth Festival, ie Live Band performances and classical performances are still on in the Central Park of Connaught Place of Delhi.

Hope other Delhites too enjoyed the time, as I did.  If you are a Delhite, share your experience.

RESTLESS