Hi! I Am Restless, And You?

January 11, 2011
Many a times, many a co-bloggers have asked me that why did I name myself as RESTLESS MIND?  I really didn't know what to tell them.. Of course, there had been a restlessness in my soul all these years... a strange feeling which always troubled me.... I could never feel settled.... or content.... whatever I did. 

There was one distinct feature... one distinct thought which kept disturbing me.... intriguing me for last 10-12 years.  There was this one question, which of course many a people have tried to understand and answer in their own way, that was about my self... as to Who Am I, and Why Am I here? What I am here for? What is the purpose of being here, in this life, on this Earth?  It kept pestering me.... whatever I did... I would begin to think about the larger picture of life.



I always felt, I am just a tiny speck in the huge universe. I'm born in a family, a country, am doing things which I don't understand why I'm doing... yet I will living a mundane life (and this thought was truely painful for me)... I'll be living like this without knowing the main aim of my being here. It was a disgusting feeling. and one day I will die... again there will be traditions and customs followed.... people will gather, say prayers (or whatever!) and that would be the end of the story, end of the mystery called life, my life, I mean.  All this was disturbing... no... not the death part... but the aimless wander part.

And then, I used to look around  and see how do people live. What is their philosophy of life? How are they living.... meaning, how are they explaining to themselves why they are living.  The one thing which struck me and I found very similar in most of the people was they said, they are living for their children.  I would get quite amused (and upset too) knowing this.  How can the aim of one human being be only and only to take care of his or her off spring?  Is it all we are supposed to do? 

It all started years back, when I was 25 and someone asked me this point blank question - "Who are you, and why are you here?"  I still remember that day, when I stood still.... and blank...looking into his eyes. I had no answer.  I still have no answer.  But definitely, that question stirred up a storm in head.... as I was always wondering what am I doing in this set up of this society of this country, which is only a boundary created on the face of the planet by a few men.

My restlesssness was visible in my poetry....I could never understand it though.  I wrote this Hindi poem, titled Phirkiyan (spinning tops) 2-3 years back, as if summing up the business of life, questioning the existence of myself.  This poem depicts human beings as spinning tops, which swirl endlessly, spinning around demarcating boundaries for self, for respective families, then socieities and then countries.  If you are interested in Hindi Poetry, then here it is - Phirkian.
Meanwhile, just very recently, I happened to read this little article by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar titled "Are You Restless?" (and you can imagine, how I would have jumped from my bed reading it!!)  It was a eye opener.  It explained what are the types of restless states and which one is the best.

All these years, this restlessness of my soul had troubled me, but after reading what was written, I somehow feel better now.... I have placed that article as a separate post, as it's so complete without my blabbering about myself! Please have look at this one - Are You Restless?

A final word, no way am I saying that I am so much into sprirituality.... in fact far from it.... far from religion too.... never followed the way my mother wanted me to do Pooja! Never was that religious good girl, as I was supposed to be.  The policy I follow is that I should not hurt or harm anyone. Humanity only is my religion. 

Meanwhile, I am learning to reap the fruits of being a restless soul!

Dear reader, do let me know what did you think what you wrote... do you also feel this way... sometimes? Do write to me.


RESTLESS !
PS: Pic coutesy  www.jahroc.com.au/DavidGiles

25 comments:

संजय ग्रोवर Sanjay Grover said...

मैं काफ़ी हद तक आपको समझ पा रहा हूं और आपसे सहमत हूं। सहमत क्या हूं बल्कि ये लगभग मेरे ही ख़्यालात हैं, महसूसात हैं। फ़िलहाल इतना ही।

Prashant said...

Greatpost.. you wrote well.. rather i should say you expressed it well..

Vee... said...

I was about to drop u a msg saying I have not read from u in a while, and here I see 3 posts from u. :)
Well about me, there is some part of me that is restless n thinking always!!

Harish said...

Great introspection! I get restless when I feel idle. I try doing things, adventures, experiments, movies, books, songs and plays thesre days, food, writing, involve in work, quarrels. .. and get a good nights sleep :-)

Vivek Chamoli said...

Hi. .friend

This post of your is really nice.. yes what you said here also has been very much associated with me as well.
And to get the answers to them. .I didnt approached and asked anyone..
it was a sheer luck or god grace I always met some great ppl in life journey and always looked back to their teaching..which makes And give me some strength that life.. is so amazing that. .we often lost in the web of what we are.
I quite often thinks a lot as you shared.. where I m. .whAt I M doing.. where I m heading toward.
And it hurts a lot when look back and think of people whom I had hurted..being too judemental...or may be. .expecting too much..from them....
I feel nice when I see smiling faces of small kids n ppl around.
Yes its we human who had made boundaries..and divided..ppl in diff colors by religion base.
I also dont follow any religion. .for me all are same...
But in life nothing matter more than exploring ourself.. to know. .of better self discovery.
So recently I hv joined an ORG. BSG.. which follow principles of buddhism..and from the 1st day. .I really found it great in Human revolution..
I would say life is a very nice Exp and its upto us how we took. ..its as beautiful as we percieve it.

It was a nice read. .oh whats ur name I forgot..ok I will call you friend.

take care
keep smiling....
Vivek..

Jyothi said...

I totally identify with you. I have been restless all my life too. The exact same feelings. But, stuck as to what to do to make my life more worthwhile. But unfortunately, I don't find answers either. I guess bringing up two new citizens of the world is not that easy a job!

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Sanjay - ek si soch rakhne wale logon se judne ka achcha zariya hai yeh! jaan ki khushi hui ki aap bhi aise khayalat rakhte hain. sukriya.

Prashant - glad u liked the expression and more importantly am glad I made sense! hope u got ur answer too!

Vee - haha, am glad am able to find time now :) And I knew this much about you! tc.

Harish - I know! I can understand what u r saying... it's a torture for me when I get idle... I have to keep myself busy come what may!!

good to know u all!

RESTLESS

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Vivek,

twice you asked what's my name?! hope by now you know it's RESTLESS! just kidding!

btw, good to read ur comment. it was introspection too.

what is the organisation u joined? u could tell other readers too here.

take care and yes, life indeed is beautiful... only if we manage to penetrate deeper to find the real meaning, it would be meaningful too.

tc

RESTLESS :)

Vivek Chamoli said...

Hi Dost,

Bharat Soka Gakkai , its an indian affiliate of Soka Gakkai international ( GFI).
The main focus of the organisation is bringing peace around the world by chanting and human enlightenment
by practicing some of the great concepts of Buddhism.
And in this we do share our experience , and how we have improved upon over a period of time.
Though I have joined it recently ..just one meeting I attended ..coz on Sunday I have my classes.
Looking forward to attend more.
you can get more insight of it from this url. http://bharatsokagakkai.org/

Vivek Chamoli said...

I will be writing about it soon.

Sourav said...

Being restless is not so bad, and you explained it rather well! :)

Victor Guerra said...

Nice post, Restless.
(Here are my personal my views. Kindly request you and the readers not to take offence if they are against your / their views.)
I feel, restlessness is a part and parcel of life, and its magnitude is a direct function of the attitude one has and the objectives one strives to fulfill. An infant, who is playfully lying on the crib seems gratified until it feels hungry. Feed her, and it resumes its gaiety and composure. This is the basic premise I believe in. In my life too, in retrospect, I feel the more I wanted from life, the more restless I tended to feel. Ofcourse, this contradicts the 'Aim high in life' principle, but it somehow doesn't suit me. I always eye at my goals factoring in my potential first, conservatively - And that worked well, atleast until now. Regarding the purpose of life, I'm in the dark yet, but all I know is that a human being always has this divine mandate of doing his bit to the society, to be specific, the people who he cares, loves and hangs around with. Definitely not to the strangers. HE, GOD, makes sure every human does his bit to his nearest n dearest ones, knowingly or unknowingly.
Finally, to pick up on what you allured to, when parents say they "live for their children", I would NOT agree to it either. Logically, it doesn't add up. But being a new father (we had a baby in Oct '10), I believe there is only a spiritual and philosophical angle to it.

Nice post, keep coming up with such interesting posts. It gives us a chance to instospect.


Keep blogging.

Archana said...

Dear restless,
I totally agree with your thoughts!Infact,I also had a similar experience when I found it difficult to fill the "About me" column in my blog!(This is just one example)Later on,as I discussed more and more,I was surprised to know that there are so many people who undergo a similar thought process!

I am glad that you also chose to put your thoughts into words! Keep writing:)

-Archana

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Vivek - tks for sharing.

Sourav - :) thanks

Victor - thanks a lot for spending so much time, expressing ur views. Everybody has a right to expres his or her views, i don't think there is any reason to feel offensive about anything.

Yes, restlessness is a part and parcel of life, but how many ppl have u really seen with it?

then again, if u read the post, Understanding restlessness, you will see the material restlessness is one of the most common one... and should be gotten over.

As for living only for your own family is concerned, this doesnot make me happy. You wrote categorically, Not for strangers. Surprises me.

Yes, being a new parent does change our lives and our vision of life. It has a deep connect with us.

Again, thanks for speaking ur mind!

take care

RESTLESS

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Archana,

I am pleased too, to meet another one like me! I can understand this...

tc

RESTLESS

Victor Guerra said...

Hey Restless,
I knew someone would pick up on that. My bad, I didn't put it the way I meant to.
By 'strangers' I don't mean indifference at all. What I mean is this - if everybody starts doing good to his own people around him - friends, family, loved ones - there's no question of someone being left alone. A person may be stranger to me, but not to you.
And yes, I'm not talking about philanthropy, but basic human responsibility rather.

Thanks for bringing it up and giving me yet another chance to express.

I'm loving it.

Thanks.

Jack said...

Restless,

It has been an effort by so many to understand what is the purpose of life and it still remains a mystery. Each one has own concept of what is aim of life. Some feel happy with what goes on and some feel that there is something missing. But the life goes on for all at own pace.

Take care

Gandharv said...

Hi,

This single and simple question " Who am I" is the most complex of all when you try to figure out the root. Every one is in the same journey....I would call this journey as " Ultimate journey". Long time back I had written a article on " Self Knolwedge".... http://soundsoftrinity.com/SelfKnowledge.aspx have a look at it....

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Victor - I feel, we should look beyond our respective families becoz first, there are orphans too in this world and second, there may be parents who want the best for their children but cannot afford it... then ppl like u and me can extend a helping hand. So really no one is a stranger in this world. Would request u to read my profile description.

thanks a ton for responding to me :)

tc

RESTLESS

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Jack - thanks for those words of wisdom :)

Gandharv - thanks for stopping by. yes true, simple yet complex. will c the post surely.

RESTLESS

Vaish said...

It was mere reflection of my thoughts dear! I felt restless when I have nothing to do, nothing interesting to do, or when I keep doing the same thing! I always look for change, interesting things, challenges and adventures!

I have always felt like this, and keep thinking this to myself that I'm the only soul to be like this! And am glad there are so many other people joining the party!

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Vaish - Really loved reading ur comment dear :)

so glad to know u feel the same!

Yeah, am glad I wrote this post... and found so many ppl who are somewhat like me... yeah it's a great party over here!!

thanks !

RESTLESS

SiD... said...

guess its the same with everyone I guess... Restlessness is at the core of human nature... though I thought that it is a peculiar Gemini trait :)

MicaG said...

I just received a text from my lover: "Tell me about the restlessness in my being and how it can give something to the world and to my life."  I had asked him how I could support him today and that is what he's asked.  What a huge question... still no clear answers.  Thank you for this post - was the most helpful in my search to see how restlessness can be utilized to create an action or a passion in one's life.

RESTLESS said...

Dear MicaG,

I'm so happy that I cud be of some help to you.

Dealing with restlessness is a complex thing... one find an anchor, within oneself to sail through it or rather sail with it.

Help ur lover with ur tender support and affection, but remember to give him his space.

take care

RESTLESS

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