A Lesson From My Teenager Son

April 5, 2011
My 14+ years old son tells me " Ma, aap bahut bholi ho, kuch nahi samajhti".

This has completely shocked me!!  I was sitting on the sofa reading a volunteer form for parents provided by his school,  next to his almirah, where he was keeping his books. His words completely jolted me, and not to mention, I had my eyes popping out in surprise and my jaw dropped for a good few seconds, when I heard that!

Hey, wait a second boy! suddenly my causal, comfortable capri  and top is feeling like a pale coloured, worn out, crinkled, dull cotton saree, worn over an ill fitting blouse of same shade..... and suddenly I'm feeling very old..... old and rusted from mind....

Seriously, for a moment I'm reminded of the good old (well, literally) Nirupama Roy of old Hindi movies... the poor mother... the idol of sacrifice, the affectionate but weak mother, who always stayed at home and really didn't know much about the bad bad world outside, always standing by her family.... the good old Nirupama Roy.... me?! And the young and tall son tells her " Ma, tum kitni bholi ho, tum kuch nahi jaanti"

And hey.... I've heard these words before.... I think I used to tell my mom the same thing (err... may be I used to think of telling this to her some day!!)....I was pretty sure I don't want my children to tell me that I DO NOT know the world around. But I'm quite sadly surprised that I have to hear this.... despite everything. (!!!)

And now hear, why I had to hear this.  My son has got a form from his school, in which parents can volunteer to help the school/students in any way, in terms of a motivational talk or counselling or anything (at least this is what i could make out of that brief form).  Since, I impart training in soft skills (along with my main work profile) I thought I could contribute in a way so as to have an interactive session with my son's classmates of Class X.

But, I was not surprised that he discouraged me to volunteer. Rather I was taken aback my son's comment, followed by this great revelation - "Mom, only behenjis will be suitable for that.... remember I'm in Xth class.... I have grown up, big boys as my class mates........(a suggestive smile)..... they can say just anything.... so please don't volunteer".

I closed my mouth... collecting my dropped jaw.... and said - "Son, they are 15 year old kids and I'm your mom, and for God's sake I'll be dressed up in a Saree when I go to your school.... what's the matter?.... you mean the boys will.........( looked at him in a confused way)

Thud came the reply - "aap kuch nahi samajhti..... Mom, please don't, and please listen to me this one time"


I'm yet to come with terms with this one!  Times have really changed.... and I'm feeling way behind the times!!!!!

Of course, the next generation has to be way more smart than the previous one, but as a person, I'm, perplexed to experience this change.

Have you ever felt like this as a parent? 



RESTLESS



28 comments:

zephyr said...

Oh, so you have experienced the first pangs of your son's teenagedom! Welcome to the club, though I can be called an ex-member, I still remember many such occasions. :D

Prateek said...

I remember I've said it couple of times to my mom. Um! It's class thingy- cannot explain why I asked her not to come to my school. But now as I've grown up, I'm a college going lad; there nothing like this in college. But the legacy has not ended there, now my brother asks mom not to come to school. LOL

Perception said...

Well I think you do understand what your son means when he says what he says..it remains whether you agree with him or not...

Rachit said...

Ohh, today I realized how bad my mom would have felt at times when I said the same to her.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Times surely have changed, when even a third grader can mouth those mother and sister slangs in his kid community, what do we expect when they grow up. To look at every feminine with a rating system of sexiness or hotness?
Times have changed, greatly, and bollywood ain't improving things, sanskaar teaching serials are gone.


Regards,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Jack said...

Restless,

Every generation says the same - GENERATION GAP. Interact with him more to understand what his age group thinks.

Take care

PS : Left comments on previous 2 posts also.

the critics said...

ha ha true:)

raji said...

oops!That's what I should say.I too am confused..:))Why on earth doesn't he want you to volunteer.I have heard bhai behen stories like this .I think you look young and glamorous and ur son is possessive about you:))

Harish said...

I think he just got a bit overprotective. Or did the kids changed from what they used to be!

VIKRAM KARVE said...

A real eye opener. We have faced similar situations too when our kids thought we are simpletons in today's world. As a parent one must respect one's children's wishes (see the brighter side - he is giving you a true compliment).
Hey, Restless, do order a copy of my recent book of Short Stories COCKTAIL - the stories are about relationships and you will like them. The book is available on FLIPKART
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Regards
Vikram

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Zephyr - :D ok!

Prateek - I'm sure u won't like ur mom to come college too some day! I better prepare myself for that too!

Perception - yes, i go it...and had to agree too!

RESTLESS

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Rachit - :)

BA - Very valid point. People now see and judge the hotness quotient in a female - no matter what age or status she has. And yes, it started pretty early in their lives now. It jolts u when u r a parent.

Jack - Uncle, u r right.

the critic - :)

RESTLESS

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Raji - LOL! yes this is what he meant :) when he said only a behenji would have been ok! Yeah, he seems to have become protective of his mother!

Harish - kids have changed! when did we hear a son not wanting his mom not to interact with boys his age?!!!

Vikram Karve - Vikramji, yes i could understand that :) nothing better than a child complimenting the parent!

Heartiest Cogratulations for the book! Will c to it.

regards

RESTLESS

Alka Gurha said...

I can identify with the situation here. I hv a 20 yr old...and yours sounds just like mine.
However I remember saying the same to my mother....life comes full circle.

Rama Mohan A said...

Hmmm... We are also learning from our teenager children. I feel it is natural.

Purba said...

My Tee awwws me all the time. She thinks I am naive especially when it comes to money matters. Imagine how exasperating it is - you reprimanding your kid and she responds with a "how cute"!!!!

Nice read and I think this time you should listen to him.

lifeontherocks said...

i am married, but not yet a mom. i really loved this post! and believe me, I think u should listen to him, not coz he is the "wise" one.......its just common sense bcoz kids nowadays say all sorta stupid stuff and has no absolute regards or respect for elders. anyway nice read and following u now :)

The Restless Souldier said...

Very nice...take it as a compliment!

BTW thanks for visiting my blog.

Have put up some more snaps...do check them out.

aakash said...

:) It's always transient na.
The wisdom that we carry becomes obsolete after a period of time.. Although I am cant look through your shoes, I could still connect with your thoughts... Hope you get in terms with the incident soon :)

aJ

Vee said...

your son has a point! :P well, i guess so...

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Alka - yes! Life comes a full circle :D

Rama Mohan A - of course, we do! so i have this tag on my blog "growing up with kids"!!!

Purba - ah! yes! I know how it feels! yeah, i chucked the form!!


RESTLESS

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Life on the rocks - Welcome dear! Very happy to know u liked it :)
hmm, u're right.... things have chnged a lot now. anyways thanks!

Restless Souldier - welcome after the long blogging break!!

I know, the suble compliment that it is! yeah, will c it surely.

Aakash - welcome here! hmmm, yes well put! our knowledge becomes obsolete after some time! yeah, now feeling better dealing with it :)

tc

RESTLESS

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Vee - of course!! it's somehow like self complimenting, which i realized later, after i had published the post!

Have followed my lad's instructions :D

RESTLESS

BookWorm said...

very nicely written article.. i think more than the generation gap.... it is a quite natural thing with kids.. kids (especially teenagers), for one, these days are too smart.. and they do have an opinion of their own.. for that matter.. every generation thinks that their opinion is what is right..

Sowjee said...

Haha! My Mom must be feeling the same, when I give my advices to her.... I do give her kinda lectures on various things (starting from which serials to watch to how to let go off the narrow mindedness) and my mom very lovingly and patiently listens to everything and tries to understand me and when finally she's tired of listening to me, would say "I wonder ki tum meri maa ho ya main tumhari"... ;) :)

Sach! said...

Well I see the same in my younger siblings. And it is valid - but I think we just need to talk and see what could be a way in between... I am sure your son is right :)

Btw..nice blog! :)

Take Care.

Vaish said...

ha ha...i have done this to my mom too!
Used to tell her not to come to my school or college :)
Yet to experience such words on me....
So did ya decided to go and volunteer or listen to your son's wise words ?? ;)

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Book worm - thanks! yeah, we always thought, we were smarter than our parents!

Sowjee - haha! i can completely relate to this sentence!

Sach - thanks :)

Vaish - Gave in to his gyan!!!

RESTLESS

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