The Men And The Shikaar



Can you locate the man sitting in this picture of so many tiger skins??



The pictures tell the horrifying tales of shikaar ie., hunting of wild animals (here tiger) enjoyed as a hobby or pass time by Britishers and the Nawabs of British Era of India.  How can someone derive pleasure by killing another living being, just for fun?

Pic credit - Raja Deen Dayal Photo Exhibition, IGNCA, New Delhi

RESTLESS

100 posts - 100 Blogger Pals!

I had been keeping an eye on the numbers.... I know, women always keep an eye on the number of the weighing machine and the waist size of their jeans.... for I, like all my blogger pals here, was keeping an eye on the number of articles I have posted in my blog since its beginning ( ie., in 21 June 2010).

My little son scribbled this for me on my birhtday card!

Yesterday, I've completed my 100th post, feels good.  But, I feel even better, as I've tried all this time to write something meaningful... something of use to those many people searching for information on Internet.  I know that at least half of what I've written is/will be useful to some people. (Of course, I write small little things wich are making me sad or happy or anything, at times!) I can say that with conviction because, I keep checking the search words used to find my blog on Internet.

Initially, I was surprised to read the search words, but later, it gave me all the more reason to write with responsibility.  It has inspired me to write the content which can be referred in case of need, although I'm way behind my goal, but I'll still try.  Just have a look at the search words used in last 8 months for which I had been writing :

my teacher hit me

my perception of world

what is a good girl ?

teacher punish me

child punishment

lonely life

a good girl is

home made remedy for black hair

what to do teacher hit me

my perception of marriage

lonely

These are to name a few... I've only brought out the relevant one's.  Although, there had been a lot of search for other things too.

Evidently, my posts on corporal punishment, marriage, live ins, changing perceptions of relationships, gender etc was being read and I'm glad for that.

Also, coincidentally, there is another number on my blog which has reached to a 100!!! It is the wonderful blogger pals (followers) list.

Anyways, coming back to blogging, I can only say that blogging has given an outlet to my thoughts and my expressions, and I'm deeply indebted to this blog world who accepted me, read my posts, wrote back, agreed/disagreed with me, gave their opinions and feedback to me, thereby giving a lot of their time and energy to me.  Thanks a ton!

Hope to spend more such creative time with you all!

I wanted to thank and say a few words to my blogger pals for quite some time. So, definitely in this post, I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you, who have a mention below and many more bloggers whom I didn't/couldn't  mention.

A special thanks to

Prashanth (who motivated me to blog and made sure I stick to it!!),

Vee (who had been with me throughout, since he commented on my 'Dream' post. right Vee?! thanks a lot dear!)

Vaish (We haven't met, but it seems we know each other! thanks dear!) ,

Jack (Unlce, you always give your pearls of wisdom, thanks for  being there) ,

Niket (You have been there from almost the start of the blog... and I always look forward to read ur comment and views!)
Prateek Bagri (You're such a supportive person, often updated me with info useful to me, which I was clueless about! thanks dear!) 
Blasphemous Aesthete (love your take on my posts!),

Book worm (You always add value to whatever I write, thanks a ton for being there!),

Vikram Karve (Sir, your comment means a certificate for me!),

Desh (You are well informed, so a comment means, loads of info) ,

Purba (for your affectionate support always) ,

Harish ( Always valued what you wrote for me),

Zephyr ( Our common interests make us click!!) ,

Pooja ( Reading you is so comforting for me) ,

Nikhil Garg (We disagree mostly!!! but still we stick around!!)  

Alka Gurha (woman power, and excellent writer) ,

Vivek Chamoli (Really appreciate the time you give to comment on my posts) ,

Varsha - My sweet friend, she is!
Reema - a lovely blogger pal! (help me with the link dear)

Pratibha and Geeta Singh( u two are really a sweet heart!),
Addy - Indiblogger pal!

Subtle Scribbler (new reader, but I think we think alike!) ,

Victor Guerra (Love ur sensitive take on issues) ,

Rocksea (Really like ur pics and the write up is straight from ur heart!) ,

Arpana (sensitive, like me!) 

Neeha, Raindrop, Always Happy - Young bloggers! thanks! you make my day!

I tried my best, but think I must have missed out some names here, please forgive me for that.

Have a great time!

RESTLESS :)

PS: actually completed 101 posts, but didn't have the time to write an elaborate post on it, so writing it now!

Of Power, Women and Booze

I found this picture to be a shocker.... well not really as we have known about women's exploitation through books etc.... but knowing something and seeing something are two different things.

This is not a photograph of some movie of the times of Nawabs... this is the real picture clicked in a photo studio of Raja Deen Dayal, the photographer.... This is the picture of power.

I wrote about the pic of  a nautch girl in this post... and promised to post something which will make you sit up and think.

The presence of girls (understandably nautch girls or prostitutes) and the bottle of some hard liquor makes a statement, when it's clicked in a photo studio.  It's a statement of power.  And why I say so, is because of the helpless expressions the girls have on their face. The attire, the sherwani, the head gear (pagdi) and the mustache of the men surrounding the girls, one of them holding one girl, gazing at her as if he is looking at an object of desire says it all....

This was a shocker for me.... I stood still for some time.... feeling the helplessness of the girls sitting there.

Pic courtesy here. (Raja Deen Dayal Photo exhibition : IGNCA)

RESTLESS

Portrait of a Nautch Girl by Raja Deen Dayal

This photograph by Raja Deen Dayal is a stunner! See this for pic credit.

A plethora of emotions churned within me seeing this picture.  First, the terrific looks, the confidence, the posture - again confident and relaxed.  The magnificent effect of the monochromatic picture moved me.

If you see it properly, the face of the girl shows she is very young, may be 14 or 15 years old.  NOW, the write up next to the picture (which I did not click) said, she was a 'Natch girl' which means, that she was a professional dancer.... and I guess many things are said and unsaid here.... 

After I had gotten over the magnetic appeal of this picture, a thought strung me badly.  Girls her age, were not educated, and the families traditionally into this profession would encourage their daughters to take up the profession of a dancer, no choice here.  Thinking about the exploitation they must have suffered at that time, pained me.

And to prove the point, another picture waited for me. it said it all, I'll be posting it next.

Be there.

RESTLESS

The Prince In Palanquin - by Raja Deen Dayal

I found this picture really intersting.  Also the write up about the picture was equally intersting... see the use of word 'palanquin' derived from the Hindi word 'Palki'.

Photo credit : Raja Deen Dayal photo exhibition, IGNCA New Delhi

RESTLESS

Raja Deen Dayal Photo Exhibition : Portrait of two women



Simply beautiful



Recently, I visited the photo exhibition of Raja Deen Dayal at IGNCA, New Delhi.  I'm coming back inspired and, well, yes rejuvinated to a great extent.  Please check out the links to know more about the great photographer who has created magic with his lense.

Will be posting all other pics in the next posts.

RESTLESS

The Labyrinth of Silence

I don't know why, but for for last few days these words are echoing in my mind "i want to be in my labyrinth of silence".  Honestly I didn't know what do these words mean... even literally. I thought labyrinth was some narrow pathway. Probably, i got this idea from Biology lessons of human physiology, structure of human ear. So, I was quite surprised that a word is hitting me again and again, and I don't really know what it means.

And, it was strange that I, in all the clutter surrounding me, was looking for some introspective time, and these words kept coming back to me.  So, i felt like writing about it and only then did I google search it. And this is what I got :

"Labyrinths are geometric forms that define sacred space. They have been around for over 4000 years and are contained in every major religion. To walk the path is to make a pilgrimage that calms the mind so the person can reflect on the journey of life.

The centre is surrounded by 6 petals said to symbolise mineral, vegetable, animal, human, angelic and the divine. Some believe labyrinths were used to track lunar months and depict the orbit of the Mercury.

Walking into the centre of the labyrinth is the period of letting go, calming and empting oneself. The centre is for determining what it is that one actually requires from life and walking out is for gathering together oneself and experiencing wholeness and integration. [Adapted from writings by M. Crosby] " Content courtesy this site.

Then, here I got the symbolic meaning of the word ' labyrinth'. What I understood that is that walking in a labyrinth, you spend time introspecting, and  somewhere you can connect to yourself. So, a path created like that called labyrinth is actually something you can create in your mind too.... doing the same thing in your mind.

I don't know whether I can actually afford to go so quiet, but there is something in me, which is forcing me to go silent somewhere.... may be I am already silent on some level.

It's a strange thing, when you are talking with people, working in office, teaching your kids and still silent, inside.

Does that happen to you too?

take care

RESTLESS

PS: Am sorry dear pals, I'm just not able to read your blogs.... hope u'll understand.

Don't Fall........ RISE in Love

It's Valentine's Day today.

A lot has been said against the celebration of this day... by many.... for many reasons.

But still, love is one emotion without which human existence may not be possible, or else I should say, we are not worthy of being called "human beings' if we cannot love.

It is said that love of a mother for her children is the purest of all followed by that of a sister for her brother.  It's unconditional.

And without love for your woman or man, life on earth cannot be possible.

What can I say about love, so i just thought of putting some quotes on love (the man woman context) , which make a lot of sense to me.  Here they are:-

“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were. ”          - Kahlil Gibran

"Our love is a relationship. And when love is a relationship, it creates misery. When love is a state of being, it creates bliss. A Buddha is also in love, but he is not trying to love you. Simply because of the way he is, love spreads. Love becomes a perfume and goes to the far comers of the earth."                                                                   -Osho

"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."     

                                                                                              - Khalil Gibran

                                                                                                         

"Love is not a relationship between two persons. It is a state of mind within yourself. If you are loving, you are loving to everybody — not only to persons, but to things as well. Love moves from you to objects also. Even when you are alone, when no one is there, you are loving. It is just like breathing. If I take an oath that I will breathe only when I am with you, only death can follow. Breathing is not relationship; it is not tied to any relationship. And for the etheric body, love is just like breathing. It is its breath."                                                                                      

                                                                                                  - Osho

Have a lovely day!

RESTLESS

Pic courtesy:http://infinityiitd.com

Corrupt? Me? Nah!!!

I  have ben tagged by Zephyr in her post Could THIS be the movement?.  I sense a deep anger, anguish and restlessness in her post.  A very poignant writer, Zephyr, has in this post created  furore in the Blogosphere and has started a kind of movement to joining hands against corruption. The sentiments of discontent and anger are shared by many more readers and bloggers.  Interestingly, Ms Kiran Bedi has replied to many of the comments of bloggers. The anger is understandable by everyone, every citizen of the country. EAch day, we are seeing new scams... it's really frustrating undoubtedly.  We don't know whom to see as a role model.

Secondly, Zephyr brought out that the news about the eminent citizens joining to rally against corruption in the country. It was not really covered by the media.  Yes, absolutely agree, i didn't read about it anywhere. Its a big big surprise. if someone knows better about it, do tell me. Citizen's awareness must be there about what's happening in their country... and much more media coverage should have been given to this event.

 And, since I've been tagged by her, here are my views about it.

But before I actually say anything, I would like you to recall that advertisement where on a traffic signal a young girl wearing shorts and a top is riding a scooty.... and is quite upset with the long stoppage time due to the movement of a cavalcade of a VIP (Now, here we are not discussing why VIPs need a cavalcade, save this for another post!)   But she does not give up and tries to persuade the traffic cop her way to go ahead.  Of course she just has to bat her pretty eyelids and pout and smile to bring a toothy grin on sun tan face of the greying, paunched cop.  But even on this when the cop does not budge. So there comes the tantrum of the girl as she behaves like a kid (if I remember correctly racing her scooty to show her sweet anger). Now this guy melts and gives way to this young lass, even when he has stopped the whole traffic, and the girl zips away making way for herself though the VIP cavalcade (don't try it ever, you'll be arrested immediately in real life!!)

Now, tell me honestly, is this not a bribe?? Doling out a smile, my dear, to get your work done is a bribe!! Now, Is the one who takes bribe only at fault? or the one, who wants to get his work done fast, breaking all rules and ready to pay an extra price for that also responsible?

How many times you have bothered to care for the traffic rules? And when you are caught, how many times you are willing to pay the fine? Have you ever told the cop "oh yes officer, I'm at fault, I'm a responsible citizen, so here is the fine, and I'm extremely sorry"  How many times have you haggled with the uniformed guy to let you off by bribing him a petty amount?

While looking for you child's admission to a reputed school, have to tried to find which school has management quota and which contact of yours can be used at this time? A recommendation letter from who's who is what you begin to look for..... hamare contacts kab kaam ayenge? right?

Do you file your Income Tax return? don't you try to hide as much income as possible? How honest are we with it?

There was a time, when people used to stand in queues to pay their bills etc, now online payments have eased a lot of our work.  But, tell me, when we used to stand in a queue, waiting for our turns, how often many of us would try to jump the queue, on one pretext or the other, how often, many of us would find someone known at the counter and become a "staff" to skip the long queue and finish off their work fast.

So, the first things I want to say is that there is not THEY to be blamed in corruption, it is US who is to be blamed. First we got to stop detaching our own selves from the assumed causes of corruption, ultimately, it's you and me who is willing to pay that little extra money so that we are saved from shelling out a bigger amount. 

It is said that you are good only till the time you are not proven as bad.  It is also said that till the time you don't get an opportunity to steal or rob, you don't know whether you are a thief or not.  It's only when circumstances are such that tempting offers are around you and you choose to refuse everything for the sake of your moral values, you should not claim to be HONEST.  Just, merely a lack of opportunity does not make you a saint.

Who are these people who are in the legislature, executive and judiciary?? They are people like you and me. Given a chance, many would have given in to the temptations of money, booze and women.  So, till the time you have not been tempted and till the time you have not decided to resist the temptation to walk on the right path, you have no right to call the other person as dishonest or corrupt. (Again, no sweeping generalization  about people working for the Govt (just like about gender roles) makes you look wise.)

Leave about being in Government, I just enumerated how as a citizen of the country also we are dishonest.  Now, let me come to the private sector.  Do you mean to say that you are sincere with your companies? Never have you used the office resources for personal gains? Official contacts for personal interests? Office time for personal work? Never fudged with the claims of transport or medical claims? Think about it.

Basically, the problem is not of CORRUPTION IN GOVERNMENT, the problem is our eroding moral values, rather changing perception of moral values.  The bad of yesteryear's is the good of today, see the glorification of immoral but helpful heroes in movies (Alka Gurha, our co-blogger wrote about it).  The changed definition of a good-bad-man is reflected everywhere.  A girl would have died of shame if she was defamed in society a few years back, but,today proclaims her infamousness with elan (munni badnaam hui). And many more examples are there, we know it. So, being greedy, being corrupt, wanting quick buck, quick success and paying any price for it, is all because, we are not bothered about building the character of our children, and resultantly, we are churning out street smart generation, and the real man is not even a desirable character now.

Now, lets talk about the possible solution/s or a road map to freeing our country of this evil.

But do you really think a movement of this sort, a rally, an article is going to make a difference?? Will it?  I know I sound like a pessimist.  I am a highly optimistic person.  And I feel it would be a folly to believe that such talks are going to bring about a change in the system.  Corruption is very very deep rooted in our society.  And believing that merely creating a protest like this will eliminate this evil is impractical. 

For a mamoth of a problem, there has to be change of  mind, right from the top, only then will it trickle down to the lower rung of the system.  A long term plan has to be drawn out... it's a huge system, huge machinery.... with lots of powers delegated at each step of the hierarchy.  The one's who know the game, know how to play it (read twist the rules of the game) and never get caught too.  It's not as simple as it looks.

So, what we, as citizens, can do about it? Yes creating awareness, spreading a word is fine, but being the change we want to see is equally important. First we got to stop pointing that finger towards others, only then we'll be able to find a solution or else a little glimpse of hope.  First we got to analyze where WE stand, and only then, we'll be able to act rightly, only then we'll be able to inculcate those values in our children.  We must take stock of things.... yes... enough is enough.... but we got to begin with the fact that we are dishonest.... we are crooks.... period.

Think about it.

RESTLESS

PS: Promote at Indivine

I'm turning 36 !! And Loving it!!!

My facebook wall reads "It's hard to believe that you are growing another year older, as you still maintain the spirit of a teenager".  It was just a day before my birthday, ie yesterday, when I found this little scribbling on the wall (well literally!) And , yeah I smiled ear to ear.......... rather, I grinned, thinking "how lovely it feels to a woman reading a thing like this!!" But wait a second, what does it mean "only in spirit" huh! and what about looks?! Forget it! But, then I read this sms sent by my brother "tum umar chor ho" (roughly meaning, you don't seem to age!), am absolutely glad and brimming joy.



Happy Birthday to Me!



Yes, today I've turned 36 and it's fun! I think it gets better as you age! I mean, a woman is much in control of her life around this age.  She knows what she wants in life and also knows how to balance-out various aspects of her personal and professional life.

Moreover, I feel a marked change, which I guess is a generational shift!  Do you remember how our parents felt about their birthday? I'm sure most of time there was no celebration, in fact, they hardly bothered about it.  And mostly, they thought birthday celebrations etc are for kids and not for them, the grown ups.

From that point of view, I don't seem to have grown up!! I'm still so excited about my birthday! No way can I tell my kids " Oh, mama's birthday, leave it, I'm old enough for that" (!) On the contrary, I've bought new dress for myself and made sure I get a good bouquet of roses early in the morning! And, now I'm looking forward to having lots of fun with family and friends in the forthcoming days, starting from today!

About gifts, well, I got to wait for that (!!) But the sweetest thing I can get is a few birthday kisses from my kids early in the morning, as they jump out of their beds to wish their still sleepy mom! 

I guess, the way you look at your birthday tells a lot about you as a person. This morning, a friend called me up and asked did I go to the temple in the morning? No, I didn't. For me, God is with me, in my heart. What do I look for in a temple, in the idol, in the Aarti, and the Poja vidhi?

Another aspect of being excited about one's birthday, especially if you have crossed 30, is about how good you feel about yourself? I think, women need to put in a lot of hard work to look pretty, and remain healthy and still balance their home, kids and office work.

So, if you are on the other side of 30, then share with me, how do you feel about your birthday? Does the growing years make you feel good and wiser or do you fear getting old?  Many women like to hide their age... I still haven't felt like hiding mine! (It's because each time I tell my age, I see a big surprise on people's face!!!) (hmm, well not to mention those 5-6 grey strands, which is the latest development !!)

But, on a serious note, looks are not about not having wrinkles around your eyes, or a deep laugh line, or about having no or minimal grey hair.  It's about your attitude towards life, which gets reflected through your eyes and your face.  Remaining happy and positive in any given situation is something which makes you radiate always. It's really important to remember that there are no PROBLEMS, but there are only SITUATIONS. And each situation gives an opportunity to learn and LEARNING is the way of life, and it's not related to age.

Restless would love to hear your story....how do you see physiological age.... ageing.... your birthday... how it should be celebrated as per you..... or how do you celebrate your birthday.

Do share with me and wish me a Happy Birthday too!!!

RESTLESS (WHO ME?!!)

PIC COURTESY : dailycookie.net

PS: Not getting much time, and really missing my blogger pals' blog posts. But will be back to you as soon as my life falls in the right track.