I was not able to blog for all these days, due to some technical problems, but all the time, especially around the Mother's Day I was thinking of writing a post. Being a mother of two sons, the elder one being a teenager, I have something to share.
No mother can forget the day her baby is born, as she lies in pain in the labour room. The baby arrives and all the pain is gone, and then the umbilical cord, which has served its purpose is severed. Clamping the cord which provided nutrition and the life support to the unborn baby marks the end of his physical dependence on his mother. As the baby is patted on his back, he learns to take his first breath and for the only time that cry of a baby is so melodious. That cry means life.
|image courtesy - guardian.co.uk|
It's not just once when this umbilical cord is severed. It gets severed twice. At the onset of teenage, a child has a fair idea of his individuality, rather he has already learnt to exert it. And dear reader, feel proud as a parent if he or she does it. You know as a parent that you've succeed in invoking the right thoughts. You feel good when your teenager speaks his mind and knows what he is speaking. You know then, that you have succeeded as a parent, in this respect.
Although that pride is a subtle feeling. More prominent is a feeling that your child doesn't really need you at each step of his life. (You look back and see how you always covered the sharp edges of the table with your palm, when you little one was learning to walk, fearing he would hurt himself). And this time, a parent, who was eternally lost in the cute, cuddly ways of apple of his/her eye, learns to stand aside and watch another human being, a separate personality taking charge of his life, while the parent only feels like a side actor.
Suddenly, you know you have to step back. You have to tell only when asked. Children don't like sermons! (Did I ever like it? nah!!) In many fields your child knows more than you do.
Teenage brings about that big change which again feels like the umbilical cord of the mind is getting detached. Howsoever, the child is attached to his parent, howsoever strong the emotional bond is, this feeling of separate identities stared straight into your eyes.
It's the beginning of a new phase of the relationship between a mother and a child. Somewhere it hurts when your child shouts back at you but later regrets that too. Somewhere you have to accept that you don't belong to his buddies. Somewhere you know that it's this delicate stage of his life which is making him behave in a way never known to you or himself.
You know that it's time to be even more patient, even more understanding with your child, as you are not just dealing with your off spring, you are dealing with the next generation of the times you are living in. It's you, the parent, who has to understand the changing perspectives of urban life.
Many a relationships between parents and children get disturbed forever at this juncture of life. As parents take the rude and insensitive behaviour of their children as a personal insult and often their ego gets hurt. They find it hard to forgive the child or on the other hand, may begin to ignore all the wrongdoings of their child out of weakness.
It's a challenging time for teenagers troubled by hormones and parents by the freshly severed umbilical cord.