RESTLESS

January 13, 2012
I know I am beginning this post on a negative note. But here, on my blog, in this little space of mine, I want to be true, I want to be honest. For last two or three months, I am not happy and not in peace with myself. In fact, I am what I blog user name is "Restless".  For once I am not happy with this state, because this has dragged for too long this time.  Earlier I knew that my restlessness was something unique, as it kept me on my toes, doing things, thinking and reading. But, now it's feeling like a heavy weight on me.  I had not been blogging for quite some time.  This is the longest ever gap I have given since the beginning of the blog.

I wish and in fact I believe that this phase will also pass.... the phase of unexplainable restlessness..... of mind, of heart and of soul.  As they say - This too shall pass.

I have written about why I call myself restless and what does it mean to be restless in this and this and this post.  And surprisingly, I got some overwhelming responses from some known and some unknown (to me) bloggers.  It was heart warming to read their take. Suddenly, I felt we belong to a cult of "restless souls".

This time of my life the restlessness is at its peak once again.  Each time it has happened, I think it has pushed a little up in the ladder or say the pyramid of self realisation.  This time too there is a deep unrest.... the sound of the emptiness of inner self is echoing in me.... its some fear.... fear of losing the ground beneath my feet.... fear of losing myself in the whirlpool of nothingness.... which surrounds me.... despite having everything in life.

I am trying to unload myself of the weight of this strange noise of eerie silence around me by writing in the blog post of mine.  I don't know whether it makes any sense to anyone.... but this is it.

And how had you been dear blogger pals? Would love to hear a word or two from you about your well being in the comment form....


RESTLESS


20 comments:

Lifesorchestra said...

It reminds me of a story I once read about Kabir ... he said that for a long time, I used to be sad/restless/empty looking at myself standing within a crowd. And thought everyone else was happy except me. Then, when I understood the real meaning of life and that almighty, I raised myself above that crowd. And when from that elevated position of happiness, I saw the same crowd, I saw that I was such a fool thinking everyone is happy when I was within them. But when I see from above here, I can see that everyone else is still sad/restless/empty.

BookWorm said...

mmm... yes.. i agree with my co-commentator.. this, everyone is going through.. and everyone goes through.. all you have to do is.. why this state.. probably you know the answer yourself.. but not trying to get rid of it... for me.. the only way to get around is to segregate your thoughts to the +ve and the -ve ones.. and just replace yourr -ve thoughts wiht the positive ones.. not.. replace.. but rather.. think about them.. think about the good things.. around you.. 

Bikram said...

Hi.. first time here .. I am not sure what to say about restlessness , As you say we all have it , it could be something or nothing .. lately I have been coming to te end of my mortgage of the house so had to remortgage and although i knew i am fine with expenses and money coming in , it was still a bit of anxiety what if the credit check doesnot go right, what is this or that .. blah blah .. I could not sleep properly.. but now that has all gone away I am fine well so i think till the next thing comes in .. 

I hope you find the reason as its only you who can do that , and get over this feeling  look at people who are not as lucky as you .. there are always people who are far worse off then you... 

Take care and SMile .. it helps 

Bikram's

Anu said...

Welcome back - good or bad! And that's one post full of words gushing out of your heart!  All of us face problems and feel at the peak of being restless.  But yes, this too shall pass on!  Be patient, and be positive!!  You will just be fine!  There's something better / best waiting for you dear!  Hugs to you..

Jack said...

Restless,

Nice to see you back. First of all never try to keep bottled up. If there is something weighing on mind it is best to share it, be with someone whom you feel close to & trust or may be pour your heart here as you have done now. We all some time or the other go through this kind of feeling which is normally triggered by some happening which we least expect or it can be due to anxiety while waiting for some result. Whatever be it, best is to share. I am sure you will come out of this soon  stronger and clearer in mind. 

Take care 

Jack said...

Restless,


 


Nice
to see you back. First of all never try to keep bottled up. If there is
something weighing on mind it is best to share it, be with someone whom you
feel close to & trust or may be pour your heart here as you have done now.
We all some time or the other go through this kind of feeling which is normally
triggered by some happening which we least expect or it can be due to anxiety
while waiting for some result. Whatever be it, best is to share. I am sure you
will come out of this soon  stronger and clearer in mind. 


 


Take
care 

Ameya Deshingkar said...

Wow!!
Exactly my thoughts put in words!! I have the same feelings too, even m restless from the time I hit 18, even I don't believe in God or religion as such..The worst thing is this thing creeps up all the time..
Quoting from one of you linked entries:
"The fifth type of restlessness is rare.  It is the restlessness of the soul.  When everything feels empty and meaningless, know you are very fortunate.  That longing and restlessness is the restlessness of the soul. Do not try to get rid of it.  Embrace it! Welcome it! Usually to get rid of it, people do all sorts of things - they change places, jobs or partners;  they do this, they do that.  It seems to help for some time, but it does not last."

Yea, I almost tried everything there... :(
Doesn't help.. And how do we embrace it? 
We should've come with an instructional manual..(If God was there, we would've)
Or maybe it's because of the many choices we have today, that we get confused.
From an example from earlier India:
People were divided into four castes(not sure) and people born in each caste had a specific motto in life that was pre-decided, atleast that's what the geeta said..As in the warriors were supposed to battle, scholars supposed to study and so forth.
People didn't expect much apart from that..
And I haven't yet read people from that age to be restless..
Seriously being without a purpose does seem to be a type of outcast..
The part about treating life as a game,"Play a game to enjoy, not to win it" does make sense sometimes, but then again you cannot be restless and enjoy at the same time..
I tried meditation too but this restlessness pokes in there too..
But I am joining mediation camp outside the city for a few days, lets see if I find some answers there..
Wish me luck!!
Ohh and sorry discovered your blog quite late!!

RESTLESS said...

Thanks Uncle Jack..... Yeah sharing does help.... thanks for ur concern.

Regards

RESTLESS said...

Tks Bookworm..... 

RESTLESS said...

Ameya, welcome here.

Yeah i can understand what u said.... not knowing the purpose of ur life is.... one of the biggest causes of this restlessness of the soul.

I wish all the luck and peace.... may u find the connect with yourself.

take care...

maddy .. said...

lets just say everyone has days when they dont feel comfortable for some reason.

RESTLESS said...

Thanks a ton Anu :) it's a pleasure to hear from u....

Thanks dear for the words which felt like balm to me....

RESTLESS said...

Bikram.... welcome here :)

The restlessness u mentioned is that of the mind.... related to some material issue.... it can be sorted out as the causes is identified and worked upon.

Am glad u r feeling out of it now....

Yes, ur suggestion makes sense to me....tks

RESTLESS said...

Hello! welcome here :)

U brought out a very relevant example/incident.  thanks for sharing.  I really wonder how the world around me is so busy.... doing things... which r so materialistic... and everyone is putting there heart and soul in it.... and they are happy with it!

I too get into those spells of pure materialistic pleasure... but sooner or later.... the emptiness begins to echo in me.... dont know how to deal with it...

probably finding the purpose of my life is the only way of dealing with it.

thanks... ur example made me think....

Lifesorchestra said...

well ... the problem with us is that we live either in the past or in the future. we never live in present, in the moment. as soon as we start realizing it and accepting it, things can get better, i think :)

Reema said...

This too shall pass...take care. I have been out of blogosphere but now back with renewed energy. looking forward to reading you.

Niket said...

Hi Restless,
How have you been? 
I can totally empathize with your restlessness. And the facts that I have not been able to update my blog and comment on yours clearly highlight the restlessness that I am going through. I am in the last semester of my MBA (marketing) but I have not been placed yet. No more description is needed to show how empty my life is currently.
I am down but not out. I shall move on with a positive attitude toward life, come what may !! Cheers !!!

Vivek Chamoli said...

Hi,
I can relate to your post , and your state ...I've also been going through a phase of self realization , in life we make many choices ..it not always a happy happy going ..life takes its own turn.
Well sharing is something ..I would say ..we can connect with ..its a way of unloading as you said some of the burden we hold onto...life is a great teacher ..which always teaches us to move ahead ...don't look back ..and live in the present moment ....mostly ...what is missed is present ..we mostly live on the past and future ..which don't help.

Rest come sure ..soon the faster as we act.

RESTLESS said...

Hi Niket!

how r u now? Just saw ur comment... as i was away.  I appreciate you for your spirit! Keep it up! U will surely the best opportunity dear ...

tc

RESTLESS said...

Yeah Reema... seems i am back now :)

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